BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl

Tag Archives: Gratitude


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If I Had a Magic Wand

Magic-Wand-Lower-Your-A1cGetting out of bed this morning, I realized that I’m on day four of feeling like poop. The hacking is getting worse, the eye that turned red yesterday is oozy, and the nose that keeps running is sore. Ugh.

“I wish I could just go back to bed.”

I shuffled down the hall to wake my son and noticed how disgusting his bathroom is. Spattered mirror, dirty sink, and God-only-knows what might be growing in the toilet and tub.

“I wish he would clean that bathroom.”

As I let the dog out into the yard, a cold blast of air greeted me. Great. I have playground duty this morning.

“I wish it were warmer outside.”

I fed the dog and filled her water bowl, careful not to knock over the glasses in the kitchen sink.

“I wish these dishes were done and put away.”

I glanced at the clock and realized that I could probably squeeze in a quick post, but I wasn’t sure what to write about.

“I wish I had better ideas.”

For inspiration, I clicked on my news feed. Stories of refugees, illness, poverty, and desperation filled my screen.

“I have no problems.”


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Building Bravery One Word at a Time

Here we are, halfway to the end of November. Actually, just past halfway. So far I’ve managed to keep up with posting each day, and it feels good.

I like having a daily writing habit, and NaBloPoMo has been the nudge I needed to get back to it. On top of that, I’ve been writing with two writing groups. One of them just wrapped up with a public reading, and I got brave and shared my work. It’s the third time I’ve done a public reading, and each time it feels slightly more natural and slightly less intimidating.Public-Speaking

November is a perfect month for stepping out of my comfort zone. It’s the month where I reflect on all of the good things in my life (Thanksgiving, anyone?). When I think about all of the supportive people I have around me, and all of the positive experiences I’ve been able to enjoy, it gives me confidence. I feel loved and capable, so why not try my hand at something challenging? Besides, what’s the worst case scenario?

In terms of the reading, the worst case scenario would be a heckler, but really, it was held at a small gallery, and the whole audience was comprised of the writers’ families and friends. I doubt any of them would have booed me away from the podium. Even if they had, at least three people in the crowd would have scolded them. It’s that kind of group.

I need to keep this attitude of “what have I got to lose?” and “what’s the worst case scenario?” Bravery can be cultivated, I’m sure of it. It’s time for me to work on building mine.


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Paying Bills on Thanksgiving

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Today is Thanksgiving in the United States. It’s a wonderful day of food and family and tradition. I love Thanksgiving. I always have. But before I get too caught up in the cooking (yes, I started yesterday, and today my sweetheart is doing most of the meal, so I have time) I’m going to take care of some business.

Why? Well, as I was clearing off the kitchen counter I moved some mail, and in it were a few bills. It seems to me that Thanksgiving is the perfect time to pay those bills (online, of course). Why spoil a perfectly good holiday? Because to me it isn’t spoiling it at all.

1. Credit Card- I paid off my credit card a while back, before I got divorced. I use it now for online purchases and travel related expenses, like airfare and hotels. Some months there’s not much on there (although usually there’s something, since I download too many books for the kindle). Other months it gets pretty high. Never as high as it was back in my married days, though. When I get this bill it reminds me that I have the opportunity to travel and the means to provide the little extra comforts that I enjoy in life, like my collection of digital media.

2. Electric- These folks make it possible for me to keep my home warm or cool, to wash and dry my clothes, to refrigerate and cook my food, and to enjoy technology. Oh, and they keep the lights on. Yes, I’m thankful for all of that.

3. Cell phone- I’m happy to pay to not only keep connected to my loved ones, but also to have access to emergency services should I need them. Add it the convenience of data where I am and yes, I’ll pay my bill, no problem.

4. Mortgage- Granted this one is a big one, but it pays for the roof over my family’s head. We live in a comfortable home in a neighborhood that feels safe and friendly. I looked long and hard to find this home, and I’m glad to call it ours. I remember this every time I send in the payment.

5. Insurance- I pay for the peace of mind. I’m glad that if something DOES happen, I have insurance to help us through it. It’s worth it to me.

I’m not wealthy. I don’t live extravagantly. I do, however, have enough, and for that I’m very thankful. Paying my bills reminds me that I’m fortunate to have what I do have and to live as comfortably as I do. I work hard for what I earn, but I’ve also been lucky. There are many hardworking people who struggle and barely scrape by. I’m aware of this, and for that reason I’m thankful that I’m able to pay my bills and still have a little something left over to enjoy life. If paying bills isn’t a reminder of my fortunate situation, I don’t know what is.