BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


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Thanksgivukkah

I hate the name. It cheapens both Hanukkah and Thanksgiving, but there it is. The year that Hanukkah came early and Thanksgiving came late and worlds collided. I’m not really sure it’s that much of a collision, though. The traditional Thanksgiving, as I understand it, is a feast of gratitude for survival. It’s a celebration of life and living, and its hallmarks are food, family, and friends. Maybe this is too Charlie Brown, or too simplistic, but that’s how it is in my world.1473899_10202115005023986_2078105089_n

To me, and this is my blog, so it’s my interpretation we’re going with here, it’s about getting up, watching the parade, cooking delicious food, eating early, drinking plenty of adult beverages, maybe watching football and maybe not, maybe going for a walk and maybe not, eating dessert later because right after the meal there’s just no room for it, and generally ending the evening on a good note with random family members and friends helping out in the kitchen.


Hanukkah isn’t a whole lot different, except that it’s more of a season and less of an event. Again, this is my interpretation. For a long time I was married to a man who was not Jewish. We did the whole Christmas thing, but we also included some Hanukkah in there. He’s out of the picture (more or less), but our son is not. There is also my sweetheart in the mix now, a man who loves Christmas, but was once married to a Jewish woman and now has me. He goes with the flow. The Hanukkah flow is generally something like this: one night (usually the first, but it depends on schedules) we have a traditional potato latke dinner, then light the candles and exchange some small gifts. Small. Like a magazine. A deck of cards. A flash drive. The other nights we usually light the candles (provided we get home at an early enough hour and don’t forget) and go about our business. 45957_10151869981686406_1006624489_nOne night we usually go to Mom’s house for the whole big dinner thing. That’s it. I love the candles. I love the latkes. I love the little gifts, but frankly they’re mostly for my son, and now that he’s older it’s hard to find 8 small things. I used to do dollar store stuff, but there’s no sense in buying stuff just to buy it.

The melding of these two holidays isn’t a bad thing at all. We eat, drink, and make merry in a spirit of gratitude surrounded by our families and friends. Who can argue with that, even if it does play havoc on the internal calendar? So I’m off to dust off the menorahs, line up the turkey baster, and pop the latkes in the oven. Oh, and I need to bake the cornbread for the stuffing and find the Hanukkah gift wrap. No problem. I’ve got this covered. Happy Holiday to you, whatever you may be celebrating.


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Holy Nano, Batman!

batmanIt’s official, I am REALLY freaking out. Today is November 27. NaNoWriMo ends November 30. I MUST finish my 50,000 words. I really really really really must. (Hey, there’s a technique I hadn’t thought of to up my word count, repeat unnecessary words multiple times for effect, or maybe not).

I have my flying pig socks on (for optimism), I have my leggings on (for comfort) and I have my NaNoWriMo hoodie on for warmth and writerly inspiration. I keep typing, but it’s like that giant plate of spaghetti… there’s still so much more to go!

Okay, I need to snap out of it. I’m home alone (well, the puppy is here to cheer me on) and I have no excuses. School is closed today, I’ve already done the Thanksgiving and Hanukkah shopping (that’s a weirdness all its own), and I have no reason not to crank out the words. So, why am I here? Because I don’t know how to fit all the parts together! It’s turned into this big messy thing that I’m not quite sure how to manage. Yes, I’m still following my story line, but I’m not quite sure how to move from one point to another in a way that makes sense. I may just have to forego sense for the time being, and JUST WRITE.

Phew. I think that’s out of my system. Now I need to grab a drink, let the dog out, and hammer away at the old keyboard. Super jealous of my fellow NaNo writers who have finished your 50,000. I’ll be there soon, really I will, just 8,000ish words to go.


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My Food Obsession – Why I Need a Kitchen Makeover

Here I go again. Thinking about food. Writing about food. Imagining all the delicious foods that I enjoy and wishing I had an elaborate banquet spread out in front of me. My imaginary feast is quite the opposite of the icky buffet I was subjected to the other night. I know my thoughts are wandering to food because I’m hungry, but really, I think about food often. I can’t help it. I eat. I enjoy eating. I think about eating. And when I think about eating, I think about what I might be eating.

We humans need fuel, like every other living thing. Unlike other living things, we fuel ourselves with an extraordinarily wide range of foods, many of them natural and wholesome and full of vitamins and minerals (I learned that from a cereal commercial). fresh_foodHowever, and this is a HUGE however, the vast majority of the food in my home isn’t of that variety. I would venture to say that’s true for many people. At least people who shop in grocery stores.

Oh sure, there are a few pitiful fruits and vegetables under my roof, but they’re the exception rather than the rule. Quick inventory: one rather dull looking apple, three overripe bananas, a tiny watermelon, two small pumpkins, a jar of pink grapefruit slices, and a bag of frozen green beans. I’m not proud.

The pumpkins are earmarked for pie, so they don’t count. The only thing those bananas are good for at this point is banana bread, so they’re off the list too. As for the watermelon, it’s for my son. I despise watermelon. I know, I know… everyone loves watermelon. I do not. I must be defective.

At least I don’t have a fridge packed full of processed frozen foods. It’s only about a quarter full. Of frozen, processed foods. There are potato pancakes from when? Last Hanukkah? And some breakfast sausage sandwiches (no, we don’t keep Kosher, thank you very much for inquiring). There are also some frozen sticks of butter and some chicken legs and an ice pack or two, but we don’t eat those, in case you weren’t sure.

The fridge holds salad dressing, ketchup, wine, and mayo. Oh, and eggs and cheese and yogurt and those grapefruit slices. There is a whole second fridge in the garage that my sweetheart says is for “venison and beer” but really it’s full of soda and water. Although sometimes beer does show up there.

The pantry is the last frontier. It has cereal and oatmeal, spaghetti sauce and canned soup, pasta and chili beans, and ravioi and ramen. personal-chef.38160141_stdIt also has Maker’s Mark and baking supplies and the last of the orange filled Oreos. Writing food, I call it. Actually I just made that up. Like it?

It is apparent to me that this situation is not ideal. As a result, I want a kitchen makeover. Not just the flooring and the countertops and the sink and faucet and cabinets (although I would dearly LOVE any one of those things). No, the kind I want involves some trained expert who comes in, clears out the crap, and lays in supplies for a long and healthy life. Yummy ones, I might add. While they’re at it, they could teach me (and the sweetheart) some new recipes, and leave behind a personal chef (who will also do the shopping and cleaning up afterward). Sound good? If you know of anyone, please leave me their card.