Not bad for a fat girl


Leave the Elf Mommies Alone

In recent years a most polarizing phenomenon has swept this nation. It seems fairly innocent at first, but I assure you it is not. When you spend a few minutes thinking about it, you may begin to ask yourself some interesting moral questions. Then, when you read what others think about it, you may find yourself swayed by one camp or the other.

This trend dividing our nation? Why, the Elf on a Shelf, of course.1506007_10152987829068854_3392069320071825295_n

This little guy (or gal) didn’t exist until fairly recently, but he (for the sake of simplicity I’m going with a male elf) has certainly hit the big time. I can honestly say I’m glad I was unaware of him when my son was little, because I would have had to take sides.

What’s at stake? Well, a fair amount. There are elf do-ers, elf wannabes, and elf avoiders. Some of those avoiders are vehemently anti-elf, for a variety of reasons.

For the uninitiated (where have you been?) here’s the story, as I understand it. One of Santa’s little elves goes to live with a family during the Christmas season and while he’s there he spies on the kids of the house to make sure they’re being good. He regularly flies up to the North Pole to report on those kids. He also routinely gets into trouble while he’s visiting, usually when everyone else is sleeping..

Said elf is a creepy looking little guy who is easily pose-able and gets moved around the house and often into various crazy situations.

Now aside from the unpleasant fact that harboring a spying elf seems a lot like being forced to house an opposing army, it can end up being a lot of fun. IF it’s something you want to do. IF it’s something your kids would enjoy. IF you feel like you have the time, energy, and creativity. And if you do, why not?

Honestly, I don’t think I would have been an elf mommy if they had been around when my son was little, but who knows? Maybe I would have been swept up in it. Maybe my son would have asked why none of Santa’s elves came to live with us. Maybe I would have been intrigued by the whole mischief element. Maybe.

All I know is that it’s a good thing that Pinterest didn’t exist back then either. I was having enough feelings of inadequacy just watching HGTV every now and again, I didn’t need to be bomarded by images of everyone else’s perfect worlds.

I think that’s where some of the elf hate comes in. Oh sure, it’s kind of creepy that grownups are setting up mischief scenarios involving their elves while their kids are asleep, but so what? I think the so what is that those who aren’t doing it don’t want to feel badly about not doing it.

Holidays are crazy times. We hold on to old traditions, evaluate new ones, and decide which ones we want to adopt. The elf is a fun tradition for many families, and a collosal pain in the neck for others. If that’s the case for you, don’t do it. Elves fly away. Maybe yours was needed elsewhere. Maybe your child can behave without a doll checking up on her.

Many parents are irritated that they are being made to feel like they don’t do enough for their children because they don’t stay up half the night staging an elf kitchen disaster.a0a3e37aed14b36baea31d8a0d0a376a They forget to move the elf and wait until the kid is in the bathroom. To those parents, I say, don’t sweat it. Pack it up, put it away, and let the children know they have reached a new milestone, the time in their lives when they are expected to make good choices because they’re the correct ones, not because Santa has spies.

Opting out is perfectly okay. You are not the Joneses (or maybe you are, but you just don’t want to do it). No worries. Your kid will bounce back.

But what about the flip side? What about the parents (typically mommies from what I can tell) that obsess over the antics of these little elves? Is there really anything so awful about that? They’re expressing their creativity in a way that’s meant to delight their child (is it bad to guess that they only have one?). I like to think they are creative and quirky and fun. I’m not talking about the parents who try to scare their kids with threats of “No Christmas” or other such nonsense, I’m talking about the ones who are taking this whole little elf theme and having fun with it, dreaming up clever new scenarios for the elves to charm their kids. Are these bad people? I submit that they are not.

The mommies who are having fun with the elf thing are NOT doing it to irritate you. They are not secretly thinking that if only you did the elf thing, you would be a better parent and your child would have more success in the future. Well, maybe they’re thinking some of that, but who cares? You shouldn’t. It doesn’t affect you. It isn’t about you. It’s about them having fun and sharing the fun with others. If you feel bad about it that’s your issue, not theirs.

In short:

1. The elf is kind of creepy

2. Having him in your home is sort of like harboring the enemy during wartime

3. If you don’t want to do it, don’t

4. If you’re already doing it but don’t like it, stop

5. If other people are enjoying it, leave them alone

That’s it. Regardless of whether Santa’s elves are watching you or not, be nice. Today, tomorrow, always.


Christmas Lights


I love Christmas lights. I always have, ever since I was a little kid and realized that we didn’t have them while most of our neighbors did. My parents explained that Jewish people just don’t do that. At least in those days they didn’t. Now, though, there are a lot of Jewish people who have adopted various Christmas traditions, including lighting up their homes.

I’m one of those people. I love to decorate for holidays, and for Christmas in particular. I think it’s because I felt kind of left out all those years when my friends and neighbors celebrated Christmas and our family just kind of stood on the sidelines watching. When I married a man who celebrated Christmas, I took it as a pass to go for it. I’ve been doing Christmas decorating ever since.

Today we did the outside lights. We bought some new ones a couple of weeks ago and set them aside, waiting until after Thanksgiving. This is our first Christmas in this house, so we’ve never done the lights here before. We decided to go with the larger old school style bulbs. I’ve always liked those, they remind me of gumdrops on a gingerbread house.

My sweetheart got on the ladder, and meticulously placed those lights so that there’s not a single crooked bulb. He took his time, and they look perfect. 31pqP7po4KL._SL160_My son set up the row of candy canes, and he put together this year’s new decoration, an angel pig, complete with wings and halo. I do love my flying pigs, and I was delighted to find this one a few months back. My job was to wrap the bushes out front in lights.

As the sun began to dip below the horizon, we flipped the switch. Santa inflated, the pig lit up, and the candy canes sparkled. The multi-colored gumdrop lights looked perfect too. The left side of the yard was a success, but the right side stayed dark. Cords were checked, bulbs were wiggled, and strands were removed. I was disappointed. I grabbed one of last year’s colorful icicle lights and wrapped a bush in that. It wasn’t great, but it gave some balance to the yard, and I can replace it.

Overall, I’m quite pleased with our lights. I may add a few more strands to the bushes, we’ll see. I think it looks pretty good the way it is. In fact I like it a lot. I’m just glad we don’t live one street over. On the block behind us the amount of Christmas decorating is insane. People were up on their roofs (on two story homes) messing with their lights. Yards are full of inflatables and handmade wooden cut outs and lights, lights, lights! There are exactly three houses on the entire block that aren’t festooned with brightly lit holiday displays, and it’s not even December 1st yet. I’m curious to see if those houses continue to stay unlit or if they join the rest of the block. The amount of pressure to put up a great display must be insane. I’m happy with my little display, it brightens up our home and puts me in a happy holiday mood.

What about you? Do you decorate with lights? Inside or out, or both? I would love to hear about your lights and your neighborhood. Is it like mine? Mine is crazy for Christmas, and I kind of like it.