BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl

Tag Archives: shopping


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Taxes are Filed

money flyingWell that was fun.

Not really, but at least it’s over.

No refund for me this year.

Ouch.

2014 was an expensive year, with a new home and no kid write-off, but at least I live in a happy and comfortable home, and I earn enough to cover my bills and have a tiny bit left over. A tiny bit that the IRS wants, and will get, but still…

Now I’m going to dig out the gift cards from Christmas and do a little free retail therapy. Take that, IRS!


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Goodbye Zebra Mules

I should have said goodbye years ago, but I just wasn’t ready. In fact I sort of forgot about them. Oh sure, I saw them in my closet everyday, but they were just sort of there. I wasn’t wearing them. They were too snazzy, the heels too high.zebra-ron-magnes

I remember when I got them. I fell in love instantly. They were the most ridiculously impractical shoes you could imagine. Faux zebra skin mules with silvery faux snakeskin trim. They sound hideous. They were fabulous.

I remember when I first laid eyes on them. I didn’t need zebra print mules, I mean, who really does? But I had to have them. They were too wonderful to pass up, and they were reasonably priced. Sold!

I wore them from time to time, and every time I got compliments on them. Of course, as sort of a novelty item, they didn’t come out of my closet often.

At some point they just kind of gave out. They gave me several years of service, but the weight I expected them to bear was too much. One of them split from the sole along the side. I told myself a shoemaker could fix it, but I never got around to taking them in. I put them aside, but held on to them. Someday, I would have them fixed. Someday.

Tonight I tried on my new dress. Wow. It looked fantastic and I felt like a million bucks, but I needed shoes. There they were! The old zebra mules called to me. They would be the perfect compliment to the dress. I slipped them on and they looked fantastic, except they felt weird. Oh yeah, the side was split. Damn.

Time to face facts. I will never take those shoes to be repaired. Their time has passed. They served their purpose. Tonight I said goodbye to them. They were fabulous shoes and I loved them, but now I have room in the closet for a new pair. Hopefully I can find a pair just as fantastic.


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Do You Wear Spanx?

091510_spanx_smlI guess I really was in a good mood on Saturday while I was shopping with my mother. I must have been, because this particular question didn’t elicit the response in me that it might have at any other time.

Let me set the stage. I was in a lovely fitting room in a lovely department store. I was wearing a dress with a fantastic cut made from a gorgeous fabric. It was a dress designed to show off curves, and it did.

The problem is that I have curves in the wrong places. They talk about “apple” and “pear” shaped figures, but I’m more of a honeydew. I carry a lot of weight around my waist, and I’m about as big front to back as I am side to side.

So there I was in this really pretty dress, deciding how I felt about it, when mom comes up with, “do you wear Spanx?”

I laughed and told her that Spanx wasn’t going to make any difference for me. She went on to tell me how wonderful they were. Like I said, I must have been in a good mood, because not a word of sarcasm crossed my lips.

I could have told her that wearing Spanx for me, if they even came in my size (which I sincerely doubt), would be like placing a band-aid over stab wound. It would be like bailing out a  ship with a teaspoon. It would be like building the great pyramids with lego bricks. It would be like harnessing up mice to pull a chariot. It would be like writing a novel using rubber stamps for each letter. It would be like digging a canal with a toothpick. Need I go on?

As always, I’m sure she meant well, but Spanx? Really? Oh well, I guess hope springs eternal.