BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


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A Rainy Day Whine

Disclaimer: I know I have it good.49222397

Whine: It’s raining. Wahhh. I live where it rarely rains. The children here are used to playing outdoors everyday before school and at lunchtime. Today that won’t happen. It will make them a little crazy. Wahhh.

Before school I will open my classroom twenty-five minutes earlier than usual to students. Wahhh. I normally use that time to prepare for the day. It’s much more difficult to do that when students are in the room. They require attention, which I happily provide, but then other things are left undone. Wahhh.

Today is our computer lab day. That means that today I don’t get a prep period, since each classroom teacher is in charge of the lab for his or her class. Wahhh. No restroom break. No time to check email, make phone calls, scan homework, look ahead to the next lesson, or even just have a few minutes of quiet. Wahhh.

Then comes lunch. Immediately after the students eat I will pick them up from the cafeteria and return to the classroom with them. Wahhh. I won’t be able to catch my breath and enjoy some grown-up conversation. Instead I will run to the restroom (finally) and inhale my lunch and desperately try to make it back to the cafeteria in the allotted fifteen minutes. Wahhh. Then the squirrelly, hyperactive, anxious kids and I will spend the next few minutes in “relaxation” mode in the classroom. Wahhh.

By dismissal time we will have spent six hours and fifty-five minutes all together (with only a fifteen minute break). Wahhh. I don’t care how much you like spending time with ten-year olds, that’s a long time, especially when there are 34 of them and one of you. Wahhh.

At dismissal we will stand huddled together in a small covered area with the half the rest of the school waiting for parents to pick up. There will be more than usual, due to the weather, so it will go slowly, and kids will be so wound up that it will be noisy. The younger grades will be dismissed from the cafeteria, so there will be confusion about that. Wahhh.

After the children are gone, I will crave silence and solitude, but no, we have a meeting to learn the ins and outs of the brand spanking new standardized test we will be administering next month. Wahhh. Can teachers opt out? I don’t think they can. Wahhh.

My sweetheart says I should just show a filmstrip, and part of me agrees, but in this era of “data-driven” instruction and “high stakes” testing there’s no way I could do that. It will be teach, teach, teach, even when the kids and I all need a break. Wahhh.

Now I need to paste my game face on, remember to have a sense of humor, and give it my best. Thanks for listening, I feel a lot better. And who knows, maybe the sun will come out after all.


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A Shot of Pepto for Breakfast and Nothing to Wear

Today is Sunday. It’s the last day of my glorious Spring Break. I say glorious not because of all the wonderful things I did or accomplished over said break. I say glorious because it gave me a chance to rest, which I desperately needed. Apparently I still need it.

Frankly I’m a little worried about going back to school tomorrow. All the little ones will be recharged and ready to go, but I’m still drained. I feel a bit like my old cell phone battery, I need to be powered up more and more regularly and I lose my charge faster. This illness, whatever it is, has knocked me out. Still coughing (less though, thankfully) and still low energy, but now a new twist… yep, tummy troubles.can-i-give-my-dog-pepto-bismol

Seriously, I slept relatively well, thanks to Mr. Nyquil and his magic medicine, but this morning was just no fun. I stumbled into the bathroom expecting the same old routine, but nope, surprise! My insides rebelled. At least I was in the right place at the right time. Mmm, nothing like some delicious, pink, Pepto Bismol to get the day started.

Eventually I managed to pull myself together enough to shower. A few minutes later I found myself standing in my closet faced with the remnants and reminders of a smaller me. Granted, not a much smaller me, but still.  As my eyes darted around, the seeds of panic began to take hold. I had nothing to wear.

“Calm down, it’s not a work day, you have options,” I told myself.

“Like what? Pajamas?!” I answered with maximum snark.

I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I wouldn’t talk to a friend like that, so I shouldn’t talk to myself that way. Then this gem slipped¬† out of my brain,

“Oh shut up, you need to face facts, you’re a whale.”

Ouch.

I grabbed a cute (huge) brown beaded tank top and a pair of (giant) olive-green (stretchy) shorts and got the hell out of there.

Note to self: Maybe it’s the only the Pepto talking, but stop being so MEAN to yourself!

other note to self: Do Your LAUNDRY! There are clothes in there that fit.

last note to self: Maybe it’s time to pick up a couple of pieces for the spring wardrobe.

Maybe I do need to go back to work. At least my dresses still fit.

P.S. Well no wonder. Today is March 15, the Ides of March. My father, who was not a superstitious man, always warned about the Ides of March. I know it’s from Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, and that there’s no logical foundation to it, but I still hear my father saying, “Beware the Ides of March.” Maybe I’ll just stay in today.


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I Am So Not An Extrovert

introverts-unite-individually-american-apparel-unisex-fitted-tee-lemon-w760h760I like people. Really, I do. I enjoy meeting new people and talking to them, but it isn’t always the most comfortable thing for me. Still, I do it, because the world is full of really fascinating people with incredible stories. Besides, most people are actually really nice, as long as you catch them on a good day and are nice to them first.

Over the past four days I have met and held conversations with dozens of new people, first at the phenomenal writing conference I attended, then today at a Camp Fair to promote our summer writing camp. So many people. So many conversations. So much energy!

As an introvert, I need time on my own to recharge my batteries. The more time I spend in the company of others, the lower my energy reserves dip. Couple these four days with the nasty cold I’ve been fighting and the poor sleep that has resulted from said cold, and man, I’m beat.

Now I’m off to the theatre with my sweetheart, which I know I’ll enjoy, but again I’ll be surrounded by strangers. I don’t plan on speaking to any of them. Is that awful? Maybe, but I need to recharge before tomorrow, after all, tomorrow there’s school, and my students need me.