What do you think you could be amongst the BEST in the world at doing?
This is a horribly difficult question. I keep thinking of things that I think I’m good at, but then I start to extend that thinking into the realm of best, and I shut down. I mean come on, I make great brownies, but amongst the best in the world? That’s a stretch.
I’m a good mother, and probably the perfect mother for my own particular kid, but am I amongst the world’s best? Only on a Hallmark card, I’m afraid. There are times that I allow him to do things that maybe I shouldn’t. There are times when I should be giving him more guidance than I do. There are times when I lose my cool with him. But really, he’s fifteen. Nobody’s perfect, right? Even the world’s best mothers lose it sometimes.
In terms of my other close relationships, I doubt that I rank amongst the world’s best at any of them. As a daughter, fiancée, sister, and friend, I’m sure I have plenty to be desired. I’m the one that forgets to send the birthday card. I’m the one who didn’t remember that you were having that procedure done today. I’m the one who should have called you yesterday. It’s not that I don’t care. I do. It’s just that I haven’t quite mastered putting reminders into my phone.
How about teaching? Could I be amongst the world’s best at that? Not according to the current standards of evaluation that are in place, at least in most American public schools. Within the constricts that teachers have, and with the amount of national testing that is done, I don’t believe that the way I teach my students will ever rank at the top of the ladder, not even in my own state, let alone the entire world. Honestly, I’m okay with that. I believe in what I do with my students, but I always see areas for improvement too. I’m not in it for awards or recognition, I’m in it to educate.
Well then, how about my hobbies? Quilting and scrapbooking are both creative outlets that I enjoy, but amongst the best? Not my quilting, that’s for sure. My seams don’t always meet quite the way they’re supposed to and my attempts at machine quilting, while they are improving, have a long way to go. My scrapbooking, while it has a crisp clean style that I like, has been on the back burner for so long that I hardly consider myself a scrapbooker any more.
So that leaves the written word. Could I hone my craft to the point where I’m a serious writer? Could I practice and improve to the point where my material is not only high enough quality for publication, but of enough interest to actually make it into the hands of readers? There is a part of me that thinks I can. Again, that “world’s best” is causing me some problems, but if I tone that down a bit, I see some potential. I read. I have read many books that have left me cold and thought to myself that I could do better. The difference, however, between those authors and me is that they finished their books and got them not only published, but sold. If they could do it, certainly I can too.