BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl

Daily Prompt: Ebb and Flow

12 Comments

Our blogs morph over time, as interests shift and life happens. Write a post for your blog — but three years in the future. *

It’s hard to believe that senior year has begun for my son. Things were a little rocky at times earlier in his high school career, but he managed to get it together. He’s put himself in a great position as far as college choices go, and I couldn’t be prouder. We have some campus visits lined up, and he has some ideas about where he might want to go, but it’s all still up in the air. It’s an exciting time for him, but for me it’s definitely a mixed blessing.

headless teen with backpackOf course I want him to move on to the next stage of his life, but I worry that he won’t be ready. Will he be mature and independent enough to manage on his own? Will he use his time wisely? Will he surround himself with positive people making good choices? Did I, at that age? I know he’s very different than I am in a lot of ways, but we have plenty of similarities too. Those are what worry me. I give up too easily on things that matter and hang on too long to things that don’t. I’ve seen this trait in him, especially the giving up.

He and I can both succumb to “all or nothing” thinking, which isn’t a good thing. You can usually be a little wrong, a little off, or a little late and still not have disaster befall you. In college I would skip a lecture rather than walk in two minutes late. What a waste. Has he learned these lessons yet? Have I had enough time to teach him? Or will he have to learn them on his own, as I did?

This feels like my last shot at being his mom. Once he leaves for college everything will change. Change is good, but change is difficult. He and I have been through a lot together, and I don’t feel quite ready to let him go. Fortunately I don’t have to, at least not quite yet.

*Clearly I am in denial, because after writing this I realized that he will be a senior in TWO years, not three. I am NOT ready.

Author: BulgingButtons

I'm a middle aged woman doing the things that middle aged women do and trying not to beat myself up. I'm living the life I choose with the man I love, the teenage son who impresses me all the time, and the most adorable pup ever rescued from the euthanasia list. We live in the heat of the Southwest, where I regularly sweat through my Lane Bryant bras.

12 thoughts on “Daily Prompt: Ebb and Flow

  1. Skip classes because of being a minute or two late; that is the present me.
    Best of luck to both you and your son. 🙂

  2. Oh Mama, this post speaks to me! Kindergarten starts next year and I am already planning our relocation to a place where there are plenty of colleges and nice surroundings to lure my babies close to Mama. Best wishes to you to squeeze the best out of these last ‘under your wing years’. Love, hugs and prayers to you and your big boy!

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  4. Hi there I like your post.

  5. It is scary with heading to the last year at school (I am guessing that Senior Year is the final year of school over there) My son is in his final year now, with my daughter it is the possible final year. She has the choice as to either carry on at school for a final two years or go to college for two years. I’m hoping she stays at school, that way I don’t feel old for another couple of years.

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