BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


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Why I Am Still Up

It’s nearly midnight and I have to be up early for work tomorrow morning. I teach kids, so walking around in a fog isn’t an option for me. I have to be “on” from the moment I walk in the door to the moment the last kid is gone for the day.

By the time I’m done, I’m tired, not to mention the fact that I resist going to bed just on principle, so I regularly stay up well past a reasonable bedtime. I’ve been a night owl for a long time, and the idea of an early-to-bed routine just doesn’t make sense to me. Honestly, though, I should embrace an early bedtime. By the time Friday rolls around I’ve accumulated so much sleep debt from the week that I can barely function.

Tonight I can still function, but I’m tired and ready for bed. Why, then, am I writing instead? Because the boy isn’t here.

Not in the same sense that he hasn’t been here since August. That’s different. He was in the dorm, and I could tell myself he was safe at his home away from home. Tonight is a completely different situation, at least from my point of view. Tonight he’s at a friend’s house and he’s taken my car, at night, for the first time.

Yes, he has his license. Yes, he’s responsible (3.83 GPA folks, woot, woot!). But he’s out. This is new territory. I know, it’s a little silly. By the time I was his age I had been out late in my parents’ car many many times. Not him.

My son has always gone at his own pace, which he rarely alters for anyone. His physical development left us wondering at times during his babyhood. Would he ever learn to crawl, then walk? How about talking? Would he master that? And shouldn’t he have learned how to ride a two-wheeler by age nine? Would he ever get the hang of it? Yes. To all of it.

It’s no wonder that he’s doing different things now than he did in high school. We all go through changes as we grow up and move from one stage of our lives to another. It’s normal. It’s important. And it’s something that I, as his mom, need to stop fighting and learn to live with. As I do, though, I think I’ll stay up for a while, at least this first time.


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A Few Things I’ve Learned in Life

Being right usually isn’t worth harming relationships

A dog can heal your heart

I am worthy of love and respect

Children are capable of greatness

Love doesn’t have one flavor

Being afraid is temporary

Fake happiness can sew a seed of real happiness

Anger is like poison

Words can’t be unspoken

Most people are good and willing to help you if you just ask them nicely

My struggles are insignificant in the grand scheme of things

Buy cotton clothing

Drink plenty of water

If you don’t like a book, it’s okay to put it down and never pick it up again


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Wednesday Wisdom #1

There are many forces of wisdom at play in the universe. I want to share with you some of what I’ve learned over the years. Naturally I have to do it on Wednesdays, because who doesn’t love alliteration?o-PEANUT-BUTTER-facebook

Words of Wisdom

Everything is better with peanut butter.

Who said it

Lila the wonder dog, although she didn’t technically “say” it, but I know she thinks it.

What it means to me

It’s the little extras in life that make it more interesting and exciting and enjoyable. It’s the whipped cream on the frappucino, the hot fudge on the sundae, and the meatball on the spaghetti. All of those things are good without the extras, but the extras take them over the top. Don’t just go to the Grand Canyon, take a hike there. Don’t just go to the beach, splash in the ocean. Don’t forget to add the peanut butter into your life from time to time.