Not bad for a fat girl

Use Your Words


“Sticks and Stones my break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

Surely you’ve heard this phrase before, maybe it was one you used yourself as a child when some horrible bully called you names like fatty, Godzilla, or, my personal bane, Pillsbury Dough Girl. Fine, you thought, call me names, but Karma’s a bitch and she’ll get you. Ok, you probably weren’t thinking that at all, since you probably had no clue what Karma was. Also, if you’re anything like me, you probably didn’t have a very thick skin when you were a kid. the-pillsbury-doughboy-new2My whole life my brother has told me I’m too sensitive. This is the brother who has zero recollection of ever calling me “fatty” but it’s ok, we’re good now.

The thing is, words do hurt. To this day a careless word from someone close to me can be cutting. I try to let it slide, I try to look at the big picture and know that these people who sometimes hurt me with their words don’t mean to, but even now that’s difficult for me. Do I have low self esteem? Is the pope Catholic? Of course I do. I’m a fat girl. That doesn’t make me a pitiful creature unable to function, but I do get my feeling hurt a little too easily.

Here’s my rallying cry. Let’s try to use our words for good and not evil. Let’s try to build one another up rather than tear each other down. The internet is a big wide world, let’s choose our messages carefully because they don’t go away. Lofty goal, I know. I put as much crap out into cyberspace as the next person, but I hope to at least offer some messages of encouragement and hope to others. I challenge you to be mindful of the words you choose, as a careless comment can have a lasting negative impact. We teach kids, “use your words,” but maybe we need to add in the word, “kindly.”

Author: BulgingButtons

I'm a middle aged woman doing the things that middle aged women do and trying not to beat myself up. I'm living the life I choose with the man I love, the grown up son who impresses me all the time, and the most adorable pup ever rescued from the euthanasia list. We live in the heat of the Southwest, where I regularly sweat through my Lane Bryant bras.

13 thoughts on “Use Your Words

  1. Yes, yes, yes! I’ve got a post brewing about bullying and our recent experience with hateful words (Pre-K edition). Thank you for this post.

  2. I agree with you, words can hurt. And sadly sometimes more than a slap or a kick. But not everybody can hurt me with words. I always try to use my words kindly, even or especially in public. The outlier collective currently writes posts about bad and thoughtless comments and words that hurt, it was interesting to read.

    • Yes, I think that when we feel anonymous we are looser with unkind or hurtful words than we might be with our neighbor or coworker, whom we must see everyday.

      On the flip side, many people just let loose with their families and treat them far worse than they would any stranger on the street. I don’t understand that at all.

  3. LOVE this. And here is the poster I keep on the wall in my classroom:
    T- is is true?
    H- is it helpful?
    I- is it inspiring?
    N-is it necessary?
    K-is it kind?

  4. The top of the poster say Before you speak:

  5. You’re right: things said online never really go away. I know people have lost jobs over online comments, and it’s usually deserved. I don’t feel at all bad when internet bullies are made to face the music in real life.

  6. I’ve found my kids grew up much more tolerant to others and their adversities than kids were growing up in the ’70’s. Makes me feel as though I did my job!

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