BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


21 Comments

Six Months of Blogging

THANK YOU on speech bubble price labelsI had no idea when I started what this blog would look like or feel like or how its very existence would impact my life. I just knew that I needed to make some positive changes in my life, and I felt that by documenting what I was doing through a blog I would be more accountable. I knew it wasn’t going to make me fit and fabulous, and in the back of my mind I figured that I might put up a few posts, get busy with life, and move on. I’m happy to report that hasn’t happened.

Before BulgingButtons was born I was involved in a writing project. We had the assignment of writing ourselves a letter. The letters were collected and I quickly forgot about mine. That is, until yesterday, when it arrived in my mailbox. I didn’t even recognize my own handwriting on the envelope. It wasn’t until I opened the letter that it clicked. Right there, in the letter, I outlined my idea about this blog. These were my thoughts before I had even the vaguest idea of how to create a blog.

I want to create a blog with a fabulous name that will inspire a sense of hope and use humor but will also show a serious side of how my weight affects me. I don’t want it to be the typical blog about how great veggies and exercise are, but more essays on what my life experience has been like and will be continue to be like, whether I get healthy or not.

That was my jumping off point, and a good place for me to start. It was only a start, though. A start of something much greater than I ever expected. Here are some of the things that blogging has accomplished for me:

1. I have gotten in a groove with my writing. I write far more, and, dare I say it? Yes, I dare. I write better because I’ve gotten into an almost daily habit.

2. I have written a novel. WTF?! I NEVER would have expected that, and it wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t been blogging. Sure, it’s still a rough draft, but c’mon, it’s a novel.

3. I have joined an international community of bloggers and have learned so much from them about so many topics, not the least of which is writing. So many intelligent, compassionate, interesting, and kind people are bloggers, and I’m humbled to be a part of their community.

4. My blog has been visited nearly 8,000 times, has 365 followers at last count (one for every day of the year!), and has been seen on every continent (minus Antarctica) in countries I didn’t know existed (New Caledonia, anyone?). How amazing is that?

5. I’ve received awards from other bloggers, which confirms that some of those people who are visiting are actually not only reading the content, but like it! Actually, the likes and comments give that feedback too, and for those who take the time to weigh in (pun, get it?) I thank you. Even if you don’t agree with me, I appreciate hearing from you. This is a nice blog with nice readers, we don’t get ugly here. I’m proud of that.

6. I’ve branched out to include all sorts of different posts, depending on what’s on my mind at the moment. A blog is a great ADD outlet (which I don’t think I have, but who knows?). I have written to many prompts, I’ve interviewed my dog, I’ve played with photo collages, I’ve flashed back to my youth, I’ve listed things that make me happy, and I’ve shared many essays on health, fashion, exercise, and life in general. And all along the way you’ve given me support and encouragement.

What I have not accomplished through this blog:

Getting fit. Dammit.

1. I still dislike exercise.

2. I still procrastinate.

3. I still overeat.

4. I still eat the wrong things.

5. UGH

Ah well, I’m not a quitter. I’m going to keep on keeping on, and I’m going to keep on blogging. Maybe 2014 will bring some unexpected surprises. 2013 certainly did. Thanks for reading, you have made my year.


7 Comments

Holiday Cheer

Party tonight.christmas-crafts-party

Too much wine.

Friends new and old.

Promises made.

Stories told.

Glasses of wine

Drunk and worn

Spots on the carpet

So sorry, but they will fade

New memories

New friends

Old jokes

Old friends reconnected

Holiday cheer

rebuilding for new year

good friends together

more wine next year.


13 Comments

Use Your Words

“Sticks and Stones my break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

Surely you’ve heard this phrase before, maybe it was one you used yourself as a child when some horrible bully called you names like fatty, Godzilla, or, my personal bane, Pillsbury Dough Girl. Fine, you thought, call me names, but Karma’s a bitch and she’ll get you. Ok, you probably weren’t thinking that at all, since you probably had no clue what Karma was. Also, if you’re anything like me, you probably didn’t have a very thick skin when you were a kid. the-pillsbury-doughboy-new2My whole life my brother has told me I’m too sensitive. This is the brother who has zero recollection of ever calling me “fatty” but it’s ok, we’re good now.

The thing is, words do hurt. To this day a careless word from someone close to me can be cutting. I try to let it slide, I try to look at the big picture and know that these people who sometimes hurt me with their words don’t mean to, but even now that’s difficult for me. Do I have low self esteem? Is the pope Catholic? Of course I do. I’m a fat girl. That doesn’t make me a pitiful creature unable to function, but I do get my feeling hurt a little too easily.

Here’s my rallying cry. Let’s try to use our words for good and not evil. Let’s try to build one another up rather than tear each other down. The internet is a big wide world, let’s choose our messages carefully because they don’t go away. Lofty goal, I know. I put as much crap out into cyberspace as the next person, but I hope to at least offer some messages of encouragement and hope to others. I challenge you to be mindful of the words you choose, as a careless comment can have a lasting negative impact. We teach kids, “use your words,” but maybe we need to add in the word, “kindly.”