Not bad for a fat girl

Hide the Panties


Tomorrow is Saturday, prime house hunting day, and I have a hot new listing. At least I hope it’s hot.

I wonder if anyone will come see my house tomorrow. If they do I don’t want to be here to bother them. That means that we have to be ready to bug out on a moment’s notice. It’s kind of exciting but really more irritating than anything. Still, it must be done, so we might as well prepare for it.

Not my actual panties, but I have lots like these.

Not my actual panties, but I have lots like these.

I have gone over this place with a fine tooth comb trying to figure out how to make it both look good to a stranger, and still work for my family. One of the things I’ve realized is that having a shelf full of plus sized panties in the closet may not be a turn on for everyone. Off to the store I went and purchased cubes that fit on the shelves. There is a panty cube, a bra cube, and a pajama cube. The other clothes don’t seem as intimate, so they’re all folded neatly on the shelves. That should be ok, right?

I do have a fear of my son leaving his underwear on the floor of his bathroom and nobody but a potential buyer noticing. It could happen. Now no sane person would allow the purchase of a home to hinge upon a single pair of plaid boxer shorts, but still, the image gives me a chill.

I feel like a need a checklist to help me stay on top of this clean and neat house thing. I’m such a sucker for lists! I don’t know why, exactly. It seems that most of the time I end up ignoring them once I’ve created them. I wonder why that is. Maybe the creating is enough for me. I detect a lack of follow through.

1. ALL clothes put away (drawers, hamper, whatever)

2. ALL dishes put away (cupboards or dishwasher)

3. ALL beds made (there are only two, not difficult)

4. ALL window blinds open (it just looks better when it’s sunnier)

5. ALL flat surfaces cleared off (this one is going to be a challenge)

6. ALL dog hair cleaned up (OMG, this isn’t easy either)

7. ALL poop picked up (an overshare perhaps?)

Ok, I think we’ve got this. Hopefully we won’t have to keep this up for very long. I predict a week and a half at most. It’s the power of positive thinking, people. You know, the Law of Attraction? I’m a believer. Now to stash the laptop and wait for the crowds to arrive.

Author: BulgingButtons

I'm a middle aged woman doing the things that middle aged women do and trying not to beat myself up. I'm living the life I choose with the man I love, the grown up son who impresses me all the time, and the most adorable pup ever rescued from the euthanasia list. We live in the heat of the Southwest, where I regularly sweat through my Lane Bryant bras.

8 thoughts on “Hide the Panties

  1. This is the part of selling a house that I most dislike– feeling like I can’t “live” in my own home.

  2. Good luck with the sale! I hope its quick for your sake. I can’t imagine trying to keep my house up to par for any length of time. With 2 18yo boys that play sports, I’m forever tripping over a sports duffle in my dining room. Yes, isn’t that where all sports duffle bags go?!?!

    Sending good thoughts your way!!! AND btw-I do the same thing with lists. Maybe it’s the making of the list that helps us ๐Ÿ˜‰

  3. When I was a teenager my parents house sat on the market for 9 months. My mom read in Dear Abby or Ann Landers that in order to sell your house you should always make sure the toilet lid was down. She closed the lid and the damn house sold the next day! She also covered a hole in the bathroom door with a bandaid and then proceeded to paint the entire door white…wonder how long it took those people to discover the “booboo”!

  4. Hope someone comes by and loves it enough to buy it – so you do not have to go through this again.

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