BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


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Hummingbirds and Home Sales

Hummingbird-1Wednesday morning I was greeted by one of my favorite sights as I left home to teach my summer writing workshop. Just as I raised the garage door and prepared to enter the car, a hummingbird swooped into my yard for a long sip of nectar from one of my obliging plants.

I love those little guys. I love how they hover and dart about from place to place. I love their tiny bodies and their brilliant colors, and I love their impossibly long narrow beaks. I can’t help but smile when I see a hummingbird. I always feel as though they have chosen me personally to grace with their presence, and I take it as an honor.

I got in the car with my whole attitude changed. All of a sudden I was sure it was going to be a good day, and before I drove off I sent a text to my sweetheart saying so. He quickly fired one back stating that he was sure it would be too. I happily and safely drove off to campus, looking forward to the morning’s session with my¬† 9 young writers. They have been a pleasure to work with because of their creativity and enthusiasm. I arrived on campus, and took the short walk to my classroom building, where I was greeted by… yes, another hummingbird. Wow, a two hummingbird morning. Life is good!hummingbird-male

The morning session went well and before long it was time for a break. When I glanced at my phone I saw a text message from my realtor. Really? He’s on vacation. In Hawai’i. It had to be something important. It was. It was an offer. A real offer from a real buyer.

So far everything seems to be moving forward. I don’t want to get too ahead of myself, but I do feel some pressure to find a new place soon. I feel good about the situation this time. Better than last time. I’m pretty sure it will all work out, because, after all, why would the hummingbirds lie?


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Hide the Panties

Tomorrow is Saturday, prime house hunting day, and I have a hot new listing. At least I hope it’s hot.

I wonder if anyone will come see my house tomorrow. If they do I don’t want to be here to bother them. That means that we have to be ready to bug out on a moment’s notice. It’s kind of exciting but really more irritating than anything. Still, it must be done, so we might as well prepare for it.

Not my actual panties, but I have lots like these.

Not my actual panties, but I have lots like these.

I have gone over this place with a fine tooth comb trying to figure out how to make it both look good to a stranger, and still work for my family. One of the things I’ve realized is that having a shelf full of plus sized panties in the closet may not be a turn on for everyone. Off to the store I went and purchased cubes that fit on the shelves. There is a panty cube, a bra cube, and a pajama cube. The other clothes don’t seem as intimate, so they’re all folded neatly on the shelves. That should be ok, right?

I do have a fear of my son leaving his underwear on the floor of his bathroom and nobody but a potential buyer noticing. It could happen. Now no sane person would allow the purchase of a home to hinge upon a single pair of plaid boxer shorts, but still, the image gives me a chill.

I feel like a need a checklist to help me stay on top of this clean and neat house thing. I’m such a sucker for lists! I don’t know why, exactly. It seems that most of the time I end up ignoring them once I’ve created them. I wonder why that is. Maybe the creating is enough for me. I detect a lack of follow through.

1. ALL clothes put away (drawers, hamper, whatever)

2. ALL dishes put away (cupboards or dishwasher)

3. ALL beds made (there are only two, not difficult)

4. ALL window blinds open (it just looks better when it’s sunnier)

5. ALL flat surfaces cleared off (this one is going to be a challenge)

6. ALL dog hair cleaned up (OMG, this isn’t easy either)

7. ALL poop picked up (an overshare perhaps?)

Ok, I think we’ve got this. Hopefully we won’t have to keep this up for very long. I predict a week and a half at most. It’s the power of positive thinking, people. You know, the Law of Attraction? I’m a believer. Now to stash the laptop and wait for the crowds to arrive.