Not bad for a fat girl

So Much Hatred


I try to add images to my blog posts that will capture the spirit of the writing. Occasionally I use my own photos, but most of the time I use images that I find online. A quick search will usually unearth several options from which to choose. Often my search terms are a bit unusual, but I still get images that will work for my article. Recently, however, that wasn’t the case.

I wanted to find something appropriate for yesterday’s post on fat and fashion, but I didn’t what I was looking for. Let me tell you what I did find. First there were beautiful models and bloggers and various other fat girls and women. They are the ones who make fashion and fat work together. They had on cute dresses, short skirts, leggings, blouses, swimwear, and lingerie. Their hair was done, their makeup was perfect, and most of them looked adorable. They just weren’t quite what I was looking for.

I expanded my search terms and that’s when I got back results I never expected. Sure I know there are jerks on the internet. I believe that people with jerk tendencies get way jerkier when they hide behind their keyboards, and the stuff I stumbled across seemed to confirm this theory.

What I came across was the FA war. I didn’t even know there was such a thing, but sadly there is. What is FA, you ask? Fat Acceptance. Now I don’t claim to be an expert on this “movement” if that’s what it is, but my understanding of it is this, fat people want to be accepted for who they are. At least that’s the simple explanation. Now that seems not only reasonable, but it seems perfectly logical to me. In fact, if you take off the word “fat” and just say people want to be accepted for who they are, I think most people would agree. It stands to reason, then, that any kind of people would want that same acceptance: fat people, gay people, disabled people, elderly people, left-handed people, vegan people, whatever… So why do so many people hate them?

Yes, I said hate. Yes, I know it’s a strong word, but some of what I saw was way stronger than that. Here were these people posting pictures and messages of self-acceptance and other people were completely bashing them, spewing all sorts of verbal venom. Frankly I found it disturbing. What kind of person refers to a stranger as a “moronic sea cow?” One who’s not very nice, that’s for sure.

I’m in favor of returning to the golden rule. Don’t agree with someone? That’s fine. Express your opinion, but be respectful.

Author: BulgingButtons

I'm a middle aged woman doing the things that middle aged women do and trying not to beat myself up. I'm living the life I choose with the man I love, the grown up son who impresses me all the time, and the most adorable pup ever rescued from the euthanasia list. We live in the heat of the Southwest, where I regularly sweat through my Lane Bryant bras.

9 thoughts on “So Much Hatred

  1. People conjure up lots of courage sitting behind a keyboard. It’s awful that they take such liberties and call people these disgusting names. It makes me wonder how poisonous their lives are. I agree with you. The Golden Rule ought to be in place at all times.

  2. Yes, people treat each other horribly online, even people who supposedly love each other. I no longer have a relationship with my sister (her choice) because she doesn’t budge on the notion that if someone (I) is offended by what she writes, it’s their (my) problem, not hers. According to her, I should not be offended by how she treats me in writing — I’m just oversensitive, so it isn’t her fault at all. huh… this is one example of dozens I could come up with.

    So yes, people can be very hateful, both when they try (deliberately bashing others, as your examples above) and when they are just careless, because they care less…

    I’m sorry you found the poison. Know that there are more loving, accepting people out here than there are toxic ones. Unfortunately, the toxic ones can do so much damage in so little time.

    • I’m so sorry you’ve had such a terrible time with your sister. I can’t imagine how painful that must be. I’ve been very fortunate with this blog so far, it has brought together so many supportive and positive people.

  3. I am always amazed at what people think is acceptable to write online about others they no nothing about. Sometimes I read the comments in controversial articles just to read the idiots – wait is that bad to say? It’s easy to be tough from your keyboard

  4. So many people are keyboard warriors, saying things behind a screen that they would never dare to say to someone’s face, lest they get punched out. It’s pathetic. I totally get wanting to be accepted for who you are, I just really wish that everything didn’t have to be labeled – fat acceptance, queer acceptance, acceptance of this and that. People are people, get over it and move along (not you, people in general). 🙂

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