BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


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When an All Time High Feels Like an All Time Low

Yesterday I had the pleasure of visiting my doctor for my quarterly check-in. We get together regularly (honestly, it’s more like three times a year) to look over my latest labs and talk about all the lifestyle changes I need to make. It’s super fun.

Yesterday was a particularly fun visit. I just knew it would be, after all, I’d been under the weather for weeks on end, leaving me feeling lethargic and lazy. Exercise? Phooey. Fruits and veggies? Screw ’em. Even taking my daily medication got to be a chore that I started to ignore on a fairly regular basis.2073005_Broken-Piggy-Bank-Savings-Business-700

Not good.

SO not good.

The first sign of trouble was at the scale.

The digital readout displayed a number I had never before seen on a scale with my own eyes. Oh crap. Apparently the combination of zero exercise and seemingly unlimited amounts of sweets does not go unnoticed by that contraption. Go figure.

Then there was the blood pressure.

Gulp.

Yeah, I guess the medication does work best if you actually get it out of the bottle and into your body. It works even better if you don’t sabotage it at every turn.

Now mind you I still hadn’t seen the doctor, this was just the prep. The good news is that my doctor rocks. He is kind, compassionate, has a sense of humor, and isn’t all judgy (yes, I know the proper word is judgmental, but I like this one better). Still, he is my doctor and it’s his unenviable task to tell me what a horrible job I’m doing taking care of this one and only body that I have.

He did it nicely. He did it with numbers. The numbers on the scale, the numbers from the blood pressure cuff, the numbers from the labs. Yes, folks, some of my numbers have actually set new personal records (not ones I was aiming for, by the way).

So here we are again, only this time I’m starting from even further away from “healthy” than I’ve ever been. I don’t want to do this. I want to eat, drink, and be merry. I don’t want to think about vitamins and blood pressure and steps taken and reducing risks of heart disease and diabetes and cancer and blah, blah, blah whatever else. I don’t want any of that burden, but for better or for worse, it’s mine.

Oh boo hoo, poor little old me. I know, get over it. I got myself into this fix, so I have to get out of it. Besides, I don’t actually have diabetes or heart disease or cancer (my poor Dad, of blessed memory, had to contend with all three of those). What I do have is another whack in the face with the giant two by four of reality. The reality of the situation is that I’m doing myself a grave disservice by ignoring my health (pun intended, sorry). I need to snap out of it and take care of myself the way I deserve. So, on we go to attempt number 8,413, or, as I like to call it, time to crawl out of the gutter and climb onto the victors’ podium.

 


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Healthy Challenges Update – A Slug With a Cold

I bring you this update with a belly full of ice cream. I’ve been on a sweets binge lately, and it’s not good.real

I’ve also been kinda sorta sick for about a month now, and it’s making me feel a lot like a slug. Yes, I’ve been to the doctor, and he thinks it’s viral, but it just keeps hanging around. UGH. So I just keep hanging around and waking myself up at night coughing and sniffling and then I feel like a zombie during the day. The whole thing is rather unfortunate. And annoying. And getting OLD.

As I was feeling sorry for myself, it occurred to me that I haven’t really been keeping track of my challenges, so maybe it’s time to revisit them. Here they are, in no particular order:

1. Stay away from Starbucks – Generally still accomplishing this one. I did have a week a while back where I went more than once, and that got me to go cold turkey again, so overall I haven’t been there much in 2015.

2. Eat more fruits and vegetables – Hmm, not so great, but not so terrible. I used to go days on end without any produce passing my lips, but now I generally try to have at least ONE fruit or vegetable a day. I know it’s not much, but it’s still better than nothing. I need to work on this one.

3. Stay away from the drive-thru – Overall I’ve done well with this one too. I’ve gone through a couple of times for a quick breakfast, but not nearly as much as in the past. We’ve been making a lot more meals at home and not eating out so much, so this one is pretty much a victory.

4. One Soda per Day – Most of the time I adhere to this one, but sometimes I don’t. Most of the time, though, I do. As the weather gets warmer I have to make sure that I bring enough water bottles to school, though, because I get really thirsty!

5. Move More – Fail. I’m a slug. A couch potato. A lazy butt. I don’t want to exercise. I don’t want to get outside and enjoy the gorgeous weather we’ve been having. I want to stay in bed and read, or better yet, sleep. UGH. Must. Shake. This. Cold.

So there you have it, some successes, some failures, and a lot of stuff in the middle, as usual. What are your challenges, and how are you doing with them?


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Split Personality

aheadsI’m at an impasse. I’m not sure what to write about. It’s not that I don’t have anything to say. I ALWAYS seem to have something to say. It’s just that I’m not sure in what direction I should go at the moment.

This blog began as a way for me to bitch and moan and then celebrate a little about how I was treating my body. I was going to get fit, dammit! And I was going to be accountable along the way by sharing my trials and tribulations with all of you out there in blog-land. Naturally, I would digress from time to time, but that was fine, especially since I planned to be completely anonymous.

Well, it didn’t take long for me to start writing about my family of origin, and my current family situation. After all, this is my life, so welcome to it. Again, I was anonymous, so whatever raw emotions I was feeling I spilled out onto the screen and didn’t think twice about hitting the publish button. I am what I am, take it or leave it. Something like that.

Then I started to sneak in some of my professional life. I’m a teacher. Teaching is an all consuming profession. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about SOME aspect of my profession. Lesson plans are swirling around in my brain, the endless to-do list nags at me at the most inopportune times, and I’m constantly thinking about how I can be more effective. It’s impossible to be me without also being an educator, so again, into the blog it went.

One of my education pieces got picked up by Scary Mommy, and that was a lot of fun. Thousands of readers took in my words, and honestly that was a rush. The piece was also translated into Greek and posted on no fewer than 8 Greek language websites. That event also marked the end of my anonymity.

Now in addition to an educator, I’m a writer. As time has gone on, I’ve come to realize that writing is something that I’m meant to do. I’ve been writing, reading about writing, learning about writing, and writing about writing. And yes, I put that into the blog too.

So now what I have is a big ‘ole mess. The blog has turned into a giant mish-mosh of stuff, from fun fitness for fat chicks to fabulous books for fourth graders to my childhood memories of gingerbread to my feelings about frito-pie and standardized testing. I’m afraid that as I’ve spread out my topics, I’ve lost some momentum. I feel like I’ve lost my edge by wandering around discussing this topic and that. I feel like I need to narrow my focus and find my niche, but I’m not sure I exactly WANT to do that. I like writing about a little of this and a little of that. And I don’t think I have the energy to run several blogs at once.

Even if I did, what would I call them?

BulgingButtons – or how two years later I’m still fat and struggle with making good lifestyle choices

All the Pretty Words – The Journey to Becoming the Writer I Believe is Hiding Inside Me

Give Kids a Chance – My Take on How our Education System Ought to Help Kids

Past, Present, Future – My life as it was, is, and hopefully will be

I know bloggers who have revamped their blogs, or started additional blogs to address new topics. What do you think? Shall I soldier on? Make some changes? Rein in some of my topics? Avoid others all together? I’d love some feedback, and if you’ve been with me for some time, thank you, your support means a lot.