Food | BulgingButtons

November 21, 2013
by BulgingButtons 5 Comments

Ham and the Art of Parenting

Two days ago in the grocery store, teenage son says, “Oh Mommy, can we get a ham?” Yes, he calls me Mommy. Deal with it. “We have ham in the fridge,” I reply, quite sensibly. “No, not ham, A ham. For the pot luck at school on Friday.”

Oh. A ham. Great. He goes to a school where a lot of the kids are on free and reduced lunch. They will bring items to the potluck, but they won’t bring a ham. I know these kids. They are great kids. I want to feed them, and I have the means to provide a ham. “Fine,” I tell him, “but you have to deal with it.”

I don’t have the first clue about what to do with a ham. I grew up in a semi-kosher household and we never had a ham. I have never purchased a ham. I do buy deli ham, though, and bacon has been in my house on more than one occasion, but a ham? Never.

Now it’s Thursday night, and he reminds me of the ham. “When are we going to cook the ham?” he asks. I’m planning on walking out the door in five minutes to go to a class. My finace, who advised him on the finer points of ham cooking, is out cold feeling ill. Um, we?

So the quandry is, do I go to class (it’s the last meeting, and certainly not for a grade or anything, just for fun) and worry all evening about the ham and the possibility of him burning down the house, or at least drying out the ham, or do I stay home and google ham and it’s preparation? Oh this parenting thing, it just never gets old. Next year I hope he signs up for paper plates.

November 19, 2013
by BulgingButtons 8 Comments

Ten Things You Didn’t Know About My Mother

In keeping with the ten things theme, here are a few interesting (to me anyway) bits of information about my mother.

1. Her first job was at Sears folding underwear. To this day she doesn’t shop at Sears. I think she holds a grudge.

2. Her parents, hardworking immigrants, gave her a car at age sixteen.

3. My mother took care of my father’s medical practice’s business side from home. She also filled in at the office when needed. She even had a cute white uniform for the job.

4. My mother used to be a sun worshipper. Did I mention that my dad was a dermatologist?

5. My mother used to be late for everything. I was always the last kid to be picked up from things. Now she’s habitually early. Weird.

6. My mother enjoys taking her 5 grandchildren out to lunch. I think it’s because she steals their french fries.

7. My mother’s favorite mug features a photo of my son and my niece when they were quite small. She drinks hot water from it. I’m not kidding.

8. My mother LOVES Zumba.

9. My mother has always had the most beautiful gardens, beginning when she was a young bride with a tiny yard.

10. My mother refused to give up on my father in the last years of his life, when he was terribly sick. She hired around the clock help, put a hospital bed in the family room, and wouldn’t hear a word about placing him in a nursing home. “He took care of me my whole life, now I’m taking care of him,” she would tell people. I never realized how strong she was until then.

November 18, 2013
by BulgingButtons 8 Comments

Ten Things You Didn’t Know About My Dad

Of course this is silly, since you don’t know anything about my dad. Still he was a very interesting guy and I could write a few volumes just about him. Here, though, are ten small bits of him.

1. He graduated from the University of Michigan, pre-med, in three years instead of four.

2. He had tons of quotes he would spout off, all the time. There was something for virtually every occasion. Toward the end of his life one of his favorites was, “give time, time.” Huh?

3. He took us to Israel when I was a kid and he brought back a shofar (ram’s horn) that he would sound at the Jewish High Holy Days. My brother has the shofar and continues the tradition.

4. He would wake up very early in the morning and read, mostly non-fiction. He had volumes and volumes of books on art, history, religion, anthropology, etc. They are all annotated with his underlines and comments, and many of them have accompanying articles tucked inside. He would correspond with authors and public figures too, and this was long before the internet.

5. He would cross the bridge to Canada to eat a burger because he didn’t want anyone to see him and report back to my mother about his indulgence.

6. He warned my brother that he might get cancer after purchasing a house near a radio tower. Sadly, it was my dad who got cancer.

7. My dad’s primary site for his cancer was in his brain. He was given a three month prognosis. He died seven years later. Long enough to walk me down the aisle. Long enough to meet my son.

8. It rained on the morning of my wedding. The venue called to say they were moving the ceremony inside. My father said no. He insisted that they stick to the original plan. It was a beautiful outdoor wedding, just as I had envisioned.

9. My dad’s mother lived a very long life. Up until the end she lived independently. My dad would often visit her and take a nap on her couch.

10. The last thing my dad said to me as he lay dying, robbed of most speech by Parkinson’s Disease, was, “I love you.”