BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


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Have You Ever Had the Flu?

sick-in-bed.jpgI figured I had, but now I’m not so sure. This may actually be the first time in my life that I have the real, live, actual, bona fide flu. F.L.U. Influenza, baby, that’s what I’m talking about, and it’s not pretty.

It all started last weekend, my sweetie wasn’t feeling well, and he spent all day Saturday sleeping. All day. Kind of weird, but ok. Then he spent all day Sunday sleeping too. Okay, that was odd. I picked up the kid from his father’s place and headed off to my mom’s for a visit with out of town family. YAY!

We had dinner reservations at 7:30. Nobody told me that. We arrived there at 5:30. Just in time for a nice visit while we waiting for everyone to change out of swimsuits and into dinner clothes. But for some reason time seemed to be dragging. And no, I wasn’t hungry, and no, neither was son. In fact, I was feeling kind of off. And hot. And so was he.

Out came the thermometer, and son clocked in at 100.2 (he very rarely runs a temp, even when he was little and had ear infections all the time he wouldn’t have a fever). When it was my turn I registered 102. OY.

We said our goodbyes and headed out. I dropped son off at his dad’s, then off to bed for me, hopeful that I could sleep it off. At 3 am I could tell it wasn’t going to simply pass, and I called in for a sub. I went in to work at around 6 to set up, only to find out that there would be no sub that day. Son’s father called him in sick to school and reminded me that he was going out of town. Oh yeah.

I made a doctor’s appointment, and got the official diagnosis. On the way out I asked if they could squeeze son in later in the day. They did, and he received his official diagnosis too. Do you know how much Tamilflu costs? Over $100, and that’s with insurance. Oh, and it took visits to separate pharmacies to fill those prescriptions, because apparently I got the last dose at one pharmacy. Then there’s the cough medicine with codeine, which had to be filled later. Five pharmacy trips (to 3 pharmacies) and 2 doctor’s visits later, we finally made it home and crashed. Ah, blissful slumber. Sweetheart was already there, sleeping.

On Tuesday I made a valiant effort to go to work, after all, there was some state testing that needed to be administered. I was too sick to be there, that much was clear to everyone but me. I was more or less escorted out of the building and told not to return the following day. I didn’t. I missed the state capitol field trip. The one where the protestors overran the capitol museum where 100 of our students were touring. Wow. I did make it to school on Thursday, and lasted all day (barely), but yesterday was a day off, one which I needed. I’m still sick. My kid is still sick, and my sweetheart is still sick.

And in case you were wondering, yes, I got my flu shot this year.

This illness is soul-sucking. It is life draining. It is energy zapping. It takes the shine out of your eyes, the smile off of your face, and the joy out of your heart. It makes you hack and wheeze and sniffle and sneeze and belch and fart and sleep and sleep and sleep. It makes you want to curl up in a ball, but you can’t because you’re too hot, so then you stretch out, but then you’re freezing. It makes you want to be a different species. One that doesn’t get flu. Ever. It makes the life of an insect seem momentarily appealing.

I hope you don’t have the flu. I hope you don’t get it. Ever. I hope I don’t get it again. Ever. Ever.


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Being With Myself

Well hello there. It’s been a while, and I have so much to say. So much that I find myself tongue-tied. Where to even begin?

I’m sure you all want to hear about my battle with strep throat, and how it sucker punched me. I’m equally sure you want to know that the medication I took for it didn’t exactly agree with me on all levels. I’ll leave it there for now, and let your active imagination fill in the blanks. Or better yet, don’t.

Then there was the epic trip to The Big Easy. Yes, it deserves all of those capital letters. New Orleans is like no other place on earth, and what better way to experience it than with seven like-minded female friends in a rented house near the French Quarter. I walked, I laughed, I danced, I drank, I ate, I slept, I sang, I played. I loved that trip, and I cherish the memories we made together. Yes, even the memory of paddling in circles in our defective kayak, but that’s another tale for another time.

Of course there has been the ongoing struggle with college applications and scholarships. There are so many t’s to cross and i’s to dot that it can make you crazy. The good news is that it forced me to do my taxes early, so I don’t have that hanging over my head. The bad news is that it never seems to end. Son is still waiting to hear back from three schools, and the waiting is hard on him. Ok, I confess, I don’t like it much either.

I guess what I’m trying to share with you, in a not so organized manner, is that life has been pulling at me lately, and I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed by all of its demands, both positive and negative. I’m in need of a brain break, one that doesn’t involve jazz music, or packing suitcases, or riding in a car with an inexperienced teen driver (did I mention that part? no?). One that doesn’t shoehorn in quick visits with out-of-town relatives and 30 parent-teacher conferences and trying to find time to really enjoy spending time with my mother. I know it sounds selfish to come back from a trip and ask for a break, but I need it. One where there aren’t piles of ungraded papers to greet me upon my return.

In the immortal words of Fergie, “I need to be with myself and center, clarity, peace, serenity…”

 

 


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How I’ve Missed You

My poor dear little blog, you’ve been so neglected.

I could tell you that it’s because it’s holiday time, and there are so many other things I feel I have to do, but I don’t think that watching holiday movies is a good excuse.

I could tell you that it’s because it’s the end of the semester at school and I have to wrap up the grading and projects and all the other things that go along with this time of year, but really that’s kind of an excuse too.

I think I may be neglecting you because I’m just tired.

I’m tired from work.

I’m tired from the stress of my kid applying to colleges (but hey, he’s been accepted to TWO universities, so it’s not bad news).

I’m tired from preparing for a trip. Ok, not really. I tend to be a last minute kind of a gal, in case you hadn’t noticed.

I think what I’m really tired from is the diminished level of care I’ve been giving myself. I’ve allowed my old habits to start creeping back in, a bit at a time. Some Christmas cookies here, a glass of spiked eggnog there, a bit of fudge, a glass of wine… it all adds up, and it’s added up. Not to worry, though, because I had an appointment with my nutritionist on the calendar. I knew she would help me get back on track. Except that it didn’t quite work out that way.

You see, this lovely woman who has been so instrumental in helping me lose weight and become healthier has had a surprise thrown her way. She will be leaving the medical group where she’s been working, and she’s not sure of her next move.

I’m sad for her, but she has a wonderful attitude. She’s framing it as an opportunity for growth. I admire that. But it still sucks. It sucks for her to have to look for work, especially at this time of year, and it sucks for me, because frankly I really like working with her. She comes from a place of wisdom and no judgment, and I find that so helpful.

Our paths may cross again. I hope so. In the meantime I wish her well. Now to get off my tush and start taking care of business once again, with or without her help.