BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl

Category Archives: Other Thoughts


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March Mission – Sell This House

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Okay, I know this is pretty much a repeat of “February Focus – Sell This House” but it’s not the same. For one thing, the focus has turned to March. For another thing, now it’s a mission. See the difference?

It took a good chunk of February just to get the house ready to show, but it’s show-worthy now. It was only listed one week ago, so the fact that it hasn’t sold yet isn’t a giant shock, especially since that damn damn construction site across the street is in full swing. Even so, it will be the perfect house for someone, and that someone may step through the door tomorrow.

I like having the house clutter free. I like having the blinds open (my sweetheart does not, so I usually indulge him, but it looks better with them open, even the realtor said so). I like the calm feeling I have walking through a house that isn’t scattered with mail and magazines and dog toys and laundry waiting to be put away.

As much as I like it, I’m ready for it to be over. My morning routine is long enough without adding in a few more chores and a once over to make sure everything is clean and in place. I’m ready for our buyer to find the house. This is the weekend. It’s time for them to come home.


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My New Favorite Gadget

I’m not a big fan of housework. In a perfect world I would wave a magic wand and all those little chores that need to be done would somehow take care of themselves. I’m not a slob, mind you. I like things tidy and neat, and clean is always better than dirty, but the work involved to maintain a household can get overwhelming.SK460

I know there are methods, solutions, organizational systems, and tools to help with this never ending process. I know that I’m not the first person in the history of the world to dislike housework, and I will certainly not be the last. I have some nifty tools, I have learned much from the wildly popular Flylady, and I keep a certain level of clean at all times. It’s just not the same level that is needed to make your house look anything like a model home.

Normally this wouldn’t bother me too much, but currently I’m striving for the model look.  I want my house to look ready to move into at a moment’s notice. I have to tell you, it does look pretty darn good. The thing is, the better it looks, the more things I notice. This is sort of a double edged sword. I like the clean, but when I clean up area X, area Y suffers by comparison. It feels endless.

One of my all time least favorite chores is cleaning the floor. I vacuum. I swiffer, I use paper towels to wipe up spills. I do. But mopping? Ugh. I avoid it like the plague. The problem with this approach is that I have light colored tile floors and a family that includes a dog. Truth be told, the floor was looking a little dingy.

The last time that it got a good cleaning was right before I moved it, more than two years ago. Gulp. My sweetheart brought over his nifty steam cleaner and did the floor. Honestly I’m not sure how much impact it had, since the house was pretty darn clean when I bought it. Still, I was glad he did it, and very appreciative.

As we were preparing the house for sale he mentioned that he would do the floors. All of them. Hooray! No nasty mopping for me. I hate mopping. You swirl dirty water all over your floors and hope that when you’re done it looks better. I don’t get it. Long story short we got to the very last day before the listing went live, and finally he brought out the steam cleaner. At last!

He plugged it in, and lo and behold, it died. Seriously? He had been wanting a new one. He had one in mind. We looked for it but couldn’t find it in stores. We meant to order it online. It never happened. Phooey. Guess who ended up on her hands and knees washing the floor with rags? So gross.

It helped, but it wasn’t a great solution. I also gave up after the most critical area was done. My knees were killing me!

Fast forward a few days, and we looked at the floor in the daylight. An intervention was needed. Off to the store to pick up the not quite right version of the steam cleaner and give the floors the attention they deserved. He set it up, plugged it in, and went to work.

It looked pretty good. It even looked pretty fun. I wanted in on the action. He showed me how to set it up (it takes an IQ of about 12) and off I went. Wow. I liked it. I liked seeing the instant results and not swilling filthy water around the floor. I also like that it just used water and not a whole bunch of expensive chemicals.  I’m a convert. I have a new favorite gadget, and it can even help me with my formerly least favorite chore. Now to find a gadget to remove poop from the yard.


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Hide the Panties

Tomorrow is Saturday, prime house hunting day, and I have a hot new listing. At least I hope it’s hot.

I wonder if anyone will come see my house tomorrow. If they do I don’t want to be here to bother them. That means that we have to be ready to bug out on a moment’s notice. It’s kind of exciting but really more irritating than anything. Still, it must be done, so we might as well prepare for it.

Not my actual panties, but I have lots like these.

Not my actual panties, but I have lots like these.

I have gone over this place with a fine tooth comb trying to figure out how to make it both look good to a stranger, and still work for my family. One of the things I’ve realized is that having a shelf full of plus sized panties in the closet may not be a turn on for everyone. Off to the store I went and purchased cubes that fit on the shelves. There is a panty cube, a bra cube, and a pajama cube. The other clothes don’t seem as intimate, so they’re all folded neatly on the shelves. That should be ok, right?

I do have a fear of my son leaving his underwear on the floor of his bathroom and nobody but a potential buyer noticing. It could happen. Now no sane person would allow the purchase of a home to hinge upon a single pair of plaid boxer shorts, but still, the image gives me a chill.

I feel like a need a checklist to help me stay on top of this clean and neat house thing. I’m such a sucker for lists! I don’t know why, exactly. It seems that most of the time I end up ignoring them once I’ve created them. I wonder why that is. Maybe the creating is enough for me. I detect a lack of follow through.

1. ALL clothes put away (drawers, hamper, whatever)

2. ALL dishes put away (cupboards or dishwasher)

3. ALL beds made (there are only two, not difficult)

4. ALL window blinds open (it just looks better when it’s sunnier)

5. ALL flat surfaces cleared off (this one is going to be a challenge)

6. ALL dog hair cleaned up (OMG, this isn’t easy either)

7. ALL poop picked up (an overshare perhaps?)

Ok, I think we’ve got this. Hopefully we won’t have to keep this up for very long. I predict a week and a half at most. It’s the power of positive thinking, people. You know, the Law of Attraction? I’m a believer. Now to stash the laptop and wait for the crowds to arrive.