BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


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What Do I Look Like?

This is a phrase we sometimes use when someone asks something of us that may seem unreasonable.

“Will you drive me to Target to buy an expensive game five minutes before closing time?”

“What do I look like, a chauffeur?”

“Will you make lasagna for dinner tonight?”

“What do I look like, a chef?”

“Did you bring my charger along?”

“What do I look like, a mind reader?”

But really, what do I look like? I have so many roles that I play that sometimes I think I need a wardrobe manager to help me keep my costumes straight. Case in point: the other night I sat down to write but I just couldn’t get into it. I wasn’t sure why, but then it hit me. I wasn’t in the correct outfit. I was in the clothes I had worn to school. Teacher clothes. I looked like an elementary school teacher. I felt like an elementary school teacher. I didn’t feel very writerly. I changed into something far more comfortable and got down to business.

Wearing the right clothes for the occasion makes a world of difference. You would feel like an idiot working out in a sexy dress, but wear your gym clothes to a fancy party and you’re equally uncomfortable.

Of course we’ve all heard the old saying, “the clothes make the man,” but how does that work? I think it has very little to do with the clothes themselves and almost everything to do with mindset. When you can look at yourself and say, “I look pretty good,” you have accomplished something. Most of us are our own worst critics, and if we can get that critic on board, we’re well on our way to convincing the rest of the world.

Sure, there are certain items that you put on that no matter what make you look great. There are others that don’t do you any favors. Honestly, though, a morose or angry woman in a stunning designer dress and heels has nothing on a joyful or placid woman in a t-shirt dress and flip-flops. imagesAudrey Hepburn in Funny Face is a perfect example. She rocks that awful sack of a dress in her first scene. Still, if you want to make an impression it does make sense to try to match your attire to your desire. Hey, I just made that up. I like it.

It reminds me of the old story of Mary Kay Ash, the founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics. According to the story, each morning she would dress in her best outfits, complete with hosiery, shoes, and accessories. Naturally she would do her make-up  and hair too. Then, when she was dressed to the nines, she would begin her day’s work. At her kitchen table. In her house. On the phone. Nobody saw her, but the confidence she gained from putting on her “uniform” or her “game face” helped her to become a force to be reckoned with. Had she made her calls in curlers and sweatpants I doubt we would know her name or her brand today.

This is the reason that I’m in favor of school uniforms for kids. I truly believe that they get into school mode when that uniform goes on. I don’t care if the uniform is a simple t-shirt and shorts. The idea is that it’s something specific just for the job of going to school and learning. There is also a sense of community that is built through the wearing of a uniform. Go to any major sporting event if you don’t believe me. Fans happily sport their team’s attire in order to become part of a community of supporters.

Listen, I’m no fashionista, and ultimately everyone wears what they want to anyway, but for me being a writer entails donning comfy clothes with stretchy waistbands. It may not be haute couture, but what do I care? After all, what do I look like, a model?


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It’s the Small Things

I read a wonderful post on Mrs. N’s blog the other day. She has been posting about gratitude, which is very timely in this season of Thanksgiving. The post that caught my eye had a quote from Piglet, and being a Winnie the Pooh fan, it drew me in immediately. ehshepardThe post inspired me to write a quick little list of my own. Following are five small things for which I am thankful.  I know there are a million others, and this list isn’t even a top five, just five random things off the top of my head. I hope you enjoy my list and create one of your own. If you do, please link back here so we can all enjoy each other’s small things.

1. Going to sleep in a freshly made bed. I love the light scent of the detergent and the soft fabric against my cheek. I love when the bed is wrinkle free and so inviting. Ah, the thought of it makes me want to go back to bed!

2. The sound of children singing. It can be my students singing in a performance that they have rehearsed for or the sound of a three year old singing itsy-bitsy spider.

3. The spicy cinnamon sweetness of Hot Tamale candies. The hard shell on the outside crunches and the spicy sweet goodness overwhelms your mouth. Yum.

4. The greeting my dog gives me when I get home. She wags her tail with her entire body, and acts as though seeing me again is the best thing that has ever happened to her. The miracle is that she does this every single time.

5. Catching a glimpse of one of my flying pigs. I have a collection of them, many of them gifts from people dear to my heart. To me they are the ultimate symbol of optimism. They just make me happy.

There are so many more small things that make me happy, I could go on for days. I wonder, what small things make you happy?


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Two Freeway Nightmares

I’ve just woken up from my second vivid dream, nightmare really, involving driving on the freeway. Ok, I’m listening. I will slow down. I will pay meticulous attention. mandatory-safety-sign-drive-with-care-042-1101-pI do not wish to live out either scenario, although the second is far preferable to the first.

Nightmare number 1: I’m driving along  on a familiar freeway, in the middle lane, going south. My attention is diverted for a split second. I look up and there is a man standing by the driver’s door of his stalled white pickup truck directly in front of me. I’m going too fast. I wake up.

Nightmare number 2: I’m riding with my mother on an unfamiliar freeway (impossible, she doesn’t drive on freeways). In the middle distance I notice cars are having trouble with a high point in the road. As we get to this spot the minivan ahead of us goes airborn. We see the bottom of the van looming in front of us. car-crashThey manage to land. Mom manages to stop without it hitting us. Both of us badly shaken, I talk her through pulling off to the side so nobody hits us. Nobody does. I tell her she saved our lives. The back of the minivan opens. There is a dog crate in the back and kids in the seats. I think everyone is ok. I wake up.

For me, this is the real stuff of nightmares. I don’t generally dream of monsters or aliens. Usually I have pleasant dreams, but sometimes I dream of the things I fear. I fear getting into a bad accident. I will be careful. I will listen to my dreams, even when they are awful.