BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


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Oh Shingles

iStock_000005623222_MediumI was ready for a quiet dinner out with my sweetheart. It was to be a simple little Tuesday night date night, precipitated by the request of a realtor to show our home over the typical dinner hour. No problem.

A quick tidy up involving a swiffer and a vacuum was all that was required, and we were ready to head out the door.

That’s when the phone rang. It was my son’s father. My first thought was that we had somehow mixed up schedules and my son was stranded somewhere without a ride. I quickly answered, only to be told that he probably has shingles. Again.

This boy is nearly 16 years old. Last year he was nearly 15 years old. That’s when he got it for the first time. I was stunned. I didn’t think young people, let alone teens, could get it. I thought it was an old person’s disease. I was wrong.

Shingles is ugly. Do not google it. Trust me. His case isn’t nearly as bad as the horror show you’ll see on the internet (thank goodness). That being said, it’s not attractive, and it’s uncomfortable. The good news is, it isn’t contagious. Still, it looks pretty nasty, and people will want to avoid you if they notice it. His outbreak is on his neck, so it’s hard to hide.

Off to urgent care we went, since his dad had to get to work at job number two. Don’t ask. I filled out all the paperwork as we (my ever patient sweetheart and I) waited for them to arrive. After a few wrong turns, they finally showed up, and we did the switch. He was taken right away (since I had already done all the paperwork) and sure enough, the doctor declared it shingles.

They checked his records. Last year he was seen on February 24. Today is February 25. Is this going to be a thing?

The doctor asked if he was taking his state tests in school this week. He finished today. Apparently stress triggers shingles. Although I’m not sure that these tests exactly stress him out. He’s pretty good at tests. At least the standardized type.

Anyway, one dinner and one $97 (with insurance) prescription later, he is back at his dad’s and working on his homework. At least I hope he is. I don’t want to nag him though, it might aggravate his stress.


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My New Favorite Gadget

I’m not a big fan of housework. In a perfect world I would wave a magic wand and all those little chores that need to be done would somehow take care of themselves. I’m not a slob, mind you. I like things tidy and neat, and clean is always better than dirty, but the work involved to maintain a household can get overwhelming.SK460

I know there are methods, solutions, organizational systems, and tools to help with this never ending process. I know that I’m not the first person in the history of the world to dislike housework, and I will certainly not be the last. I have some nifty tools, I have learned much from the wildly popular Flylady, and I keep a certain level of clean at all times. It’s just not the same level that is needed to make your house look anything like a model home.

Normally this wouldn’t bother me too much, but currently I’m striving for the model look.  I want my house to look ready to move into at a moment’s notice. I have to tell you, it does look pretty darn good. The thing is, the better it looks, the more things I notice. This is sort of a double edged sword. I like the clean, but when I clean up area X, area Y suffers by comparison. It feels endless.

One of my all time least favorite chores is cleaning the floor. I vacuum. I swiffer, I use paper towels to wipe up spills. I do. But mopping? Ugh. I avoid it like the plague. The problem with this approach is that I have light colored tile floors and a family that includes a dog. Truth be told, the floor was looking a little dingy.

The last time that it got a good cleaning was right before I moved it, more than two years ago. Gulp. My sweetheart brought over his nifty steam cleaner and did the floor. Honestly I’m not sure how much impact it had, since the house was pretty darn clean when I bought it. Still, I was glad he did it, and very appreciative.

As we were preparing the house for sale he mentioned that he would do the floors. All of them. Hooray! No nasty mopping for me. I hate mopping. You swirl dirty water all over your floors and hope that when you’re done it looks better. I don’t get it. Long story short we got to the very last day before the listing went live, and finally he brought out the steam cleaner. At last!

He plugged it in, and lo and behold, it died. Seriously? He had been wanting a new one. He had one in mind. We looked for it but couldn’t find it in stores. We meant to order it online. It never happened. Phooey. Guess who ended up on her hands and knees washing the floor with rags? So gross.

It helped, but it wasn’t a great solution. I also gave up after the most critical area was done. My knees were killing me!

Fast forward a few days, and we looked at the floor in the daylight. An intervention was needed. Off to the store to pick up the not quite right version of the steam cleaner and give the floors the attention they deserved. He set it up, plugged it in, and went to work.

It looked pretty good. It even looked pretty fun. I wanted in on the action. He showed me how to set it up (it takes an IQ of about 12) and off I went. Wow. I liked it. I liked seeing the instant results and not swilling filthy water around the floor. I also like that it just used water and not a whole bunch of expensive chemicals.  I’m a convert. I have a new favorite gadget, and it can even help me with my formerly least favorite chore. Now to find a gadget to remove poop from the yard.


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Hide the Panties

Tomorrow is Saturday, prime house hunting day, and I have a hot new listing. At least I hope it’s hot.

I wonder if anyone will come see my house tomorrow. If they do I don’t want to be here to bother them. That means that we have to be ready to bug out on a moment’s notice. It’s kind of exciting but really more irritating than anything. Still, it must be done, so we might as well prepare for it.

Not my actual panties, but I have lots like these.

Not my actual panties, but I have lots like these.

I have gone over this place with a fine tooth comb trying to figure out how to make it both look good to a stranger, and still work for my family. One of the things I’ve realized is that having a shelf full of plus sized panties in the closet may not be a turn on for everyone. Off to the store I went and purchased cubes that fit on the shelves. There is a panty cube, a bra cube, and a pajama cube. The other clothes don’t seem as intimate, so they’re all folded neatly on the shelves. That should be ok, right?

I do have a fear of my son leaving his underwear on the floor of his bathroom and nobody but a potential buyer noticing. It could happen. Now no sane person would allow the purchase of a home to hinge upon a single pair of plaid boxer shorts, but still, the image gives me a chill.

I feel like a need a checklist to help me stay on top of this clean and neat house thing. I’m such a sucker for lists! I don’t know why, exactly. It seems that most of the time I end up ignoring them once I’ve created them. I wonder why that is. Maybe the creating is enough for me. I detect a lack of follow through.

1. ALL clothes put away (drawers, hamper, whatever)

2. ALL dishes put away (cupboards or dishwasher)

3. ALL beds made (there are only two, not difficult)

4. ALL window blinds open (it just looks better when it’s sunnier)

5. ALL flat surfaces cleared off (this one is going to be a challenge)

6. ALL dog hair cleaned up (OMG, this isn’t easy either)

7. ALL poop picked up (an overshare perhaps?)

Ok, I think we’ve got this. Hopefully we won’t have to keep this up for very long. I predict a week and a half at most. It’s the power of positive thinking, people. You know, the Law of Attraction? I’m a believer. Now to stash the laptop and wait for the crowds to arrive.