It’s hard to believe that senior year has begun for my son. Things were a little rocky at times earlier in his high school career, but he managed to get it together. He’s put himself in a great position as far as college choices go, and I couldn’t be prouder. We have some campus visits lined up, and he has some ideas about where he might want to go, but it’s all still up in the air. It’s an exciting time for him, but for me it’s definitely a mixed blessing.
Of course I want him to move on to the next stage of his life, but I worry that he won’t be ready. Will he be mature and independent enough to manage on his own? Will he use his time wisely? Will he surround himself with positive people making good choices? Did I, at that age? I know he’s very different than I am in a lot of ways, but we have plenty of similarities too. Those are what worry me. I give up too easily on things that matter and hang on too long to things that don’t. I’ve seen this trait in him, especially the giving up.
He and I can both succumb to “all or nothing” thinking, which isn’t a good thing. You can usually be a little wrong, a little off, or a little late and still not have disaster befall you. In college I would skip a lecture rather than walk in two minutes late. What a waste. Has he learned these lessons yet? Have I had enough time to teach him? Or will he have to learn them on his own, as I did?
This feels like my last shot at being his mom. Once he leaves for college everything will change. Change is good, but change is difficult. He and I have been through a lot together, and I don’t feel quite ready to let him go. Fortunately I don’t have to, at least not quite yet.
*Clearly I am in denial, because after writing this I realized that he will be a senior in TWO years, not three. I am NOT ready.
First off, let’s clarify what I’m envisioning with this particular prompt. Let’s start with the location. The particular island we’re talking about is something you might find at the Club Med of my dreams. It is beautiful and has all the amenities that I might want for whatever activity I wish to explore. Secondly, these inspirational people simply show up for their day and spend it with me, sharing their wisdom and insight. They don’t find it strange, they don’t want anything in return, and they don’t complain of jet lag or headaches or anything else that might interfere with our experience. When their day is up they head back to wherever they came from, and I carry on with my next companion. I also limited my selections to people who are currently alive. Just so it didn’t get creepy, you know? So now that we have THAT settled, here we go.
1. Chris Powell. Duh. If you’ve been reading the BulgingButtons for any length of time you know I’m a big fan of his. Chris and I would have a heart to heart, and he would help get me energized and focused to make the most impactful positive changes to my overall wellness. He would teach me the moves I need and set me up with a foolproof plan. At least in my dreams. Oh, and he’s written books. Bonus: he’s not too hard on the eyes either.
2. Rachael Ray. She can teach me to cook delicious food that’s good for me and that my whole family will eat with pleasure. She also seems incredibly personable, and she’s an author. She is another person who defined her dreams and went for them, and, I’m guessing, keeps doing just that.
3. Stacy London. The TLC What Not to Wear diva could help me dress this body of mine to best advantage, allowing me to strut my stuff and hold my head high, no matter what the scale might say. Feeling confident and sexy does make a difference, and dressing to advantage has a role in how you feel. And did I mention that she also writes?
4. The Dalai Lama. He’s just so doggone nice. And smart. And otherworldly. And hip. Really, I think he’s got it going on. Oh, and he also has written several books.
5. J.K. Rowling. I guess I don’t have to tell you what she’s best known for, do I? I would love to pick her brain. Where does she get it all?! Incredible.
6. Rafe Esquith, teacher and author extraordinaire. He is inspirational, not only to teachers, but far more importantly, to kids. I would love to have an in-depth conversation on the current state of education and the impact it has on kids. I envision a meeting of the minds that will spur me on to orchestrating ever greater opportunities for my students.
7. SARK. She has written and illustrated many inventive, honest, funny, and inspirational books. She definitely thinks in colors and dreams and swirls. I like her style!
8. Tula Pink. One of the modern quilt world’s stars, she’s a designer and author, as well as a quilt maker. I would love to talk inspiration with her.
9. My son. By day nine I will be missing him terribly. I would love to spend a day in paradise with him without the distractions of school and work and obligations and responsibilities. I would love to just relax and have fun with him, and to connect with him as we splash in the ocean and bite into juicy pineapple, our favorite.
10. Last, but certainly not least, my sweetheart. I would finish this incredibly transformative experience by sharing an uninterrupted day alone with him. Bonus: he would stay the night and we would go home together.
The bad news? This scenario is infinitely unlikely to happen. The good news? I have links to the wisdom of all of these inspirational people, except my family. I get to see my family in real life, though, so it’s not so bad. Thank goodness for the written word. Although it will never be a perfect substitute for being there, it can still convey a lifetime of learning.
I’m sitting up rubbing my eyes, yawning and avoiding bed. Why? The pizza. Yes, I said it, pizza. It’s been a long week. Most of them are, but this week there was the added fun of doing 31 report cards in a whole new way, and oh, by the way, I’m still sniffling and not feeling all that super great. Do you see where this is going? Wah, wah, wah. I know. It’s not pretty, this little pity party of mine, and it gets worse.
Lunch was a friend’s belated birthday celebration, Jimmy John’s style. Yum. Then there was that after school meeting where those little tiny Milky Way dark nuggets kept calling my name. Damn them. Add in this morning’s Starbuck’s run and you have a nutritional disaster, so why stop there? When you work from 7:15 am to 6:30 pm with a 30ish minute lunch, you tend to get cranky by the end of the day. Now factor in driving the opposite direction from home to pick up an equally cranky teen, whose first words are, “what’s for dinner?” and you have the perfect storm. Yes folks, I ordered pizza.
It was lovely. It was hot and gooey and had just the right ratio of sauce to toppings. I enjoyed every bite, and there were a lot of bites. UGH. Now it’s late, I’m bloated right down to my fingers and toes, and I dread going to sleep. As the old Alka Seltzer ads used to say, “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.” Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to plop plop and fizz fizz. Tomorrow is another day, and I will do better.
Of course I want him to move on to the next stage of his life, but I worry that he won’t be ready. Will he be mature and independent enough to manage on his own? Will he use his time wisely? Will he surround himself with positive people making good choices? Did I, at that age? I know he’s very different than I am in a lot of ways, but we have plenty of similarities too. Those are what worry me. I give up too easily on things that matter and hang on too long to things that don’t. I’ve seen this trait in him, especially the giving up.
BulgingButtons 