family | BulgingButtons

May 10, 2015
by BulgingButtons 1 Comment

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

Okay, admit it, if you’re of a certain age you probably started singing “…but if you try sometimes, you get what you need.”

I’m right, aren’t I?

Well today I didn’t get something I needed, but I did get something I wanted. Funny thing about it is that I didn’t realize I wanted it until yesterday. Let me explain.

My actual real card from my sweet son.

I was married for a long time. At the beginning of that relationship, things were not good between me and the ex’s parents (father and step-mother, his birth mother was deceased). They took issue with certain things about me, like the fact that I didn’t share their son’s religion. Over time, though, they got to know me, and after a while, we developed a fairy decent relationship. The fact that I bore them a grandson helped too, I think.

Anyway, they retired and relocated to our state, which was especially nice for my son. When he was younger we would all get together at their house for swimming, barbeques, and various celebrations. It was fun, really fun. Just yesterday when I was out by our pool I told my sweetheart that I sort of missed those times. Of course he wasn’t part of them, and I wouldn’t turn back the hands of time for anything, but those afternoons by their pool were really wonderful. Alas, time and tide waits for no man, and that ship has sailed. Time to let it go.

Then today my son showed up for Mother’s Day. His father accompanied him to the door with a request. Could we please go over to his parents’ house to retrieve son’s math assignment that he left behind last night? I hadn’t seen or spoken with my former in-laws in almost two years. How strange.

My son called his grandparents and they told us to come on over, which we did. They had house-guests (whom my son had met the day before) but that didn’t make any difference. We were ushered into the backyard, poolside, for a visit. It was great. I felt like it had been weeks, not years, since we had visited.

I guess I need to spend a little more time identifying the things that I want in my life, so the universe knows which opportunities to throw my way. This time, at least, I got exactly what I wanted.

April 20, 2015
by BulgingButtons 5 Comments

Happy Birthday Cousin

It’s my cousin’s birthday.

I don’t hear from her anymore.

She had a baby three years ago. I made her a quilt. A really pretty one. It was bright and modern and fun. It was meant to be used, not stored somewhere so it doesn’t get dirty.

I mailed it to her.

I hadn’t seen her in years.

I hadn’t known she was pregnant.

Still, she’s my cousin.

Our mothers are sisters. They don’t get along very well. Our mothers are not our birth mothers. She was adopted from South America when she was three years old. I was adopted from the hospital where I was born and taken home when I was three days old.

She’s several years younger then me.

I loved her right away.

She lived several states away and we rarely saw each other growing up.

She had some hard times.

Some really hard times.

Nobody likes to talk about it.

Her mother won’t talk about her.

Her mother moved back to her home state.

My cousin lives where she was raised.

I don’t know if she got the baby quilt.

I texted. I Facebook messaged. I tried.

I hope she got it. I hope she uses it. I hope her little girl likes it.

I hope someday she’ll talk to me again.

I hope she has a good birthday.

April 13, 2015
by BulgingButtons 5 Comments

Another Monday Do Over

Monday again.

That means a new week, which in turn means a new start.

I get to start over with my students, and yet again tackle the daunting mountain of paperwork that their education seems to require. I get to laugh with them, lead them, and help them learn.

I get to start again with my colleagues, producing and sharing lessons so that all of our students can learn in ways that are meaningful and helpful to them. I get to explore different ways to share ideas with our students, and I have the opportunity to learn from the experts around me.

I get to start again with my family, sharing my life and my home with them with love and grace. I get to choose how I communicate with them, and what to focus on. I get to set the tone in my home.

I get to start again with my goals and dreams. Will I write this week? Will I sew? Will I make my home more beautiful? Will I lavish attention on my beloved dog? Where will the week take me?

I get to start over with myself. Will I care for myself this week? Will I nurture and love myself? Will I feed myself correctly and push myself to make good decisions, even if they aren’t my preferred choices?

I feel so fortunate that it’s Monday, and that I get a do-over. I hope I use it wisely.