Sell This House | BulgingButtons

February 21, 2014
by BulgingButtons 8 Comments

Hide the Panties

Tomorrow is Saturday, prime house hunting day, and I have a hot new listing. At least I hope it’s hot.

I wonder if anyone will come see my house tomorrow. If they do I don’t want to be here to bother them. That means that we have to be ready to bug out on a moment’s notice. It’s kind of exciting but really more irritating than anything. Still, it must be done, so we might as well prepare for it.

Not my actual panties, but I have lots like these.

I have gone over this place with a fine tooth comb trying to figure out how to make it both look good to a stranger, and still work for my family. One of the things I’ve realized is that having a shelf full of plus sized panties in the closet may not be a turn on for everyone. Off to the store I went and purchased cubes that fit on the shelves. There is a panty cube, a bra cube, and a pajama cube. The other clothes don’t seem as intimate, so they’re all folded neatly on the shelves. That should be ok, right?

I do have a fear of my son leaving his underwear on the floor of his bathroom and nobody but a potential buyer noticing. It could happen. Now no sane person would allow the purchase of a home to hinge upon a single pair of plaid boxer shorts, but still, the image gives me a chill.

I feel like a need a checklist to help me stay on top of this clean and neat house thing. I’m such a sucker for lists! I don’t know why, exactly. It seems that most of the time I end up ignoring them once I’ve created them. I wonder why that is. Maybe the creating is enough for me. I detect a lack of follow through.

1. ALL clothes put away (drawers, hamper, whatever)

2. ALL dishes put away (cupboards or dishwasher)

3. ALL beds made (there are only two, not difficult)

4. ALL window blinds open (it just looks better when it’s sunnier)

5. ALL flat surfaces cleared off (this one is going to be a challenge)

6. ALL dog hair cleaned up (OMG, this isn’t easy either)

7. ALL poop picked up (an overshare perhaps?)

Ok, I think we’ve got this. Hopefully we won’t have to keep this up for very long. I predict a week and a half at most. It’s the power of positive thinking, people. You know, the Law of Attraction? I’m a believer. Now to stash the laptop and wait for the crowds to arrive.

February 18, 2014
by BulgingButtons 8 Comments

Simple Pleasures – Open House Style

As I prepare to sell my house, these are some of the things that give me satisfaction:

1. A decluttered closet. Nothing extra is hanging about. The surplus has been donated, and out of season items stored away. Ahhh.

2. Smudgeless appliances. This is the ideal. It rarely is the reality. Stainless steel is harder to keep clean than the old fashioned type of appliances.

3. A poop free yard. My silly dog won’t go anywhere but in the side yard at home. She never leaves behind anything on a walk, not even a drop of pee. Too much information, I know. At least she only uses a small, out of the way area.

4. Cleared off kitchen counters. This is how I like them. I have a toaster, a fruit bowl, and a small container of utensils. That’s all.

5. The fresh smell of an “Ocean Breeze” candle. It makes the whole house smell clean and puts me in a good mood.

February 4, 2014
by BulgingButtons 9 Comments

Checking Items Off the List

My house is coming together. In a matter of days it will be listed, and anyone anywhere will be able to pull it up and view it. It will be available for inspection, either via internet or in person. It will be exposed, wide open to the prying eyes of anyone who wishes to look. That’s a very unsettling feeling.

I’m trying to look at my home with a critical eye to make it as appealing as possible to a buyer. I’ve put away almost all personal items and have been cleaning and decluttering like crazy. Well, maybe not like crazy yet, but a little. There’s plenty more to do.

My sweetheart has been working hard too. Last night his project was caulking the master bathroom. The old caulk was gross and had to go. He spent a long time at it, and the difference is amazing. It looks like a brand new bathroom.

There are about ten more of these little projects to cross off the list. They are small things that may not stand out on their own, but when taken together give off an overall impression. The impression I want to give is clean and in good condition. That means no burned out lightbulbs, no dirty window tracks, and no scuffed up baseboards.

It’s like that with our bodies, isn’t it? We keep our hair neat, our fingernails manicured, and our clothing clean. It doesn’t change who we are, but it changes the overall impression we give. Are we put together or are we falling apart? Those small, cosmetic changes have everything to do with how others perceive us, and in fact they influence how we are valued. This may not be fair, but it’s true. Given the choice of two similar homes, one cluttered and dirty, the other tidy and neat, most buyers will opt for the tidy home. Now think about people. Two people with similar backgrounds, similar experiences, similar levels of intelligence, education, talent, and so on going for the same job or same spouse will often be treated differently. The more attractive, more put together person will almost always prevail. Maybe it’s unfair, but it’s life.

As I check items off the list for the house, I’m reminded to check items off the list for myself too. All those small changes add up, and they aren’t just adding to my perceived value. The changes I make to my well being are adding a sense of accomplishment to my life. That’s worth working for.