I don’t quite “get” it. What one thing would I do for free for the rest of my life? I realize where this prompt is trying to lead me. I’m supposed to say something along these lines, “Well, I love cars and have always tinkered with them, so I would work on cars for free for the rest of my life.” Where I get fuzzy is the whole question of whether I would be doing this thing, whatever it is, for myself or for others. For example, would I be restoring a ’64 Corvette for myself, or giving all of my friends and neighbors free oils changes?

Now don’t get all indignant on me. “It shouldn’t matter,” I hear you say. But really, it does. When we’re talking about the things we would do for free, I think we need to make this distinction. We do things for ourselves for free all the time. I enjoy quilting. I don’t get paid to make quilts for myself, whether to give them as gifts or contribute them to charity, or even keep them to snuggle with on the couch. I have made quilts for clients, though, and for those I was compensated. Do I feel badly about that? No, I do not. There is a great deal of time, effort, and expense that goes into making a quilt. I enjoy it and am glad to do it, but I would not make quilts for others for free for the rest of my life, at least not unless it was on my terms.

As I said earlier, I make charity quilts. I do them at my pace, with nobody telling me how to do it. I don’t have an inspection at the end and I don’t have to make sure that I keep a customer satisfied. Do I plan on continuing this activity? Certainly, as long as I continue to gain satisfaction from the process. If that changes, I will give myself permission to stop doing it.

Sometimes giving of ourselves too freely devalues what we have to offer. There are many things I do for free that I will continue to do for free, but I feel like the spirit of the question has more to do with what I would do for free for the benefit of others. This distinction doesn’t come from a place of greed. It’s an important distinction, because the car enthusiast, while they love working on cars, has the right to be compensated for their time, experience, and craftsmanship.

That being said, I believe I will always teach for free in some capacity. Yes, I’m a professional teacher. I do get compensated for teaching (as I should, and no, I’m not overcompensated, just in case you were wondering). Natural Born Teachers (NBT’s, read more about them here) start teaching early in life, and really don’t ever stop teaching, even after retirement. In fact just yesterday, one of my retired colleagues, an NBT, came to school to work with kids, for free, on an art lesson. She came, she taught, she left. No lesson plans to turn in, no meetings, no irate parents, no observations or evaluations, no assessments, no discipline challenges, no report card grades, no sweat. To any full time teacher, that arrangement sounds like heaven. We teach because we love teaching, but it’s a hard job.

My colleague is still teaching. She comes to school on her terms, teaches what she loves, and then calls it a day. She is looking forward to hopefully becoming a grandmother, someday in the not too distant future. She will be that grandmother who reads endless stories with her grandchildren. She will lead them on nature walks and they will examine ant trails. She will sit them at the kitchen table and mix paints with them. She will bake cookies with them and talk about how the various measurements relate to one another. I will do all those things too, someday. Once a teacher, always a teacher.

September 15, 2013
by BulgingButtons 2 Comments

Daily Passion Prompt 11: Losing Sleep

TODAY’S QUESTION

When was the last time you lost sleep over an exciting idea?

My brain was buzzing, my muscles tense. I had a million thoughts swirling through my mind, and couldn’t seem to put them on hold. I knew I should hang it up and go to sleep, but I just couldn’t seem to settle down. Was I about to embark on an epic journey? Participate in an athletic competition? Face a major surgery? Nope. I was about to begin a brand new school year at a brand new (to me) school. My adrenaline was pumping.

Every year it’s the same. There’s a period of time over the summer for recovery from the previous school year, then excitement begins to build. New kids’ names are memorized as they’re entered into spreadsheets and studied from a data point of view. Sheets from former teachers are also examined, and information gathered. Preliminary groupings are created, beginning of the year seating charts are developed, and room arrangements are finalized (only to change again during the first few days). Lesson plans are developed, charts and posters are created and hung, and supplies are gathered and distributed.

My head knows I’m ready, but my heart is beating out of my chest. This is the moment when fantasy hits reality. Until the students actually show up, the entire year is an unknown. It may be the best year yet, or it may be the worst. I may hit my professional pinnacle with this group, and help them learn and grow in an unprecedented way, or I may bomb. In my head I know I won’t bomb, but there’s still that tiny voice of doubt. The real excitement, though, is in the idea of the perfect year. The night before school starts is the most exciting night of the year. It is full of promise and potential, but I can’t wait for it to end so the real work can begin.

September 15, 2013
by BulgingButtons 4 Comments

Daily Prompt: Pants on Fire

This former daily prompt made me really stop and think. What was the last lie I told and why did I tell it? Hmmmm. Immediately I figured it must have been in school with my students. Little fibs happen all the time. Usually they’re to keep things running smoothly in the classroom and to create the outcome that I want. For example, I pretend to randomly choose a student to contribute to the discussion, but really have my victim (uh, I mean volunteer) chosen ahead of time.

This type of orchestrating allows teachers to avoid situations like the one my colleague nearly found herself in as her class chose a nickname. They worked hard at brainstorming, and one student came up with the fabulous name, “Mrs. H’s Hooters.” Too bad that name accidentally got left off the ballot as they voted. Clearly Mrs. H fibs too. Sometimes it’s a matter of survival.

Aside from school, I’m a pretty honest person. I don’t lie about my age or my weight (although I might prefer to avoid the topic of exact pounds). I tell the doctor all the things I’ve done that I shouldn’t, and all the things I haven’t done that I should. I fill out my taxes accurately, and I even stop at the stop signs in parking lots when nobody is around to see me.

When it comes right down to it, I think I mostly lie to myself. I lie to myself every morning as I look in the mirror. I tell myself that I look pretty good, but as soon as a see a photo I cringe. I lie to myself about how much time I’m willing to spend on certain things, about how interested I am in certain projects. I lie to myself when I say yes to projects that I don’t have the time or energy to pursue. That type of self deception is foolish and ultimately pricey. It is also damaging and gets me into trouble. It has gotten me to a point where my health and well being have been compromised. I’ve decided that it’s time to be brutally honest with myself. If I won’t do it, nobody will.