I’ve reached another milestone. I’m another year older. Yay, me! Each year is a celebration. I have added to my life experience. No ill fate has found me. I AM ALIVE! That, my friends, is worthy of praise.
I generally reflect on a few different things on my birthday, one of which is the mysterious circumstances of how I came to be. Ok, it’s not a huge mystery. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl have sex. Girl gets pregnant. Girl has baby. Pretty standard, actually. But who were the boy and girl (or man and woman as the case may be)? How did they meet? What were their plans? Apparently not raising a child together, since I was surrendered for adoption at birth. What ended up happening to them? And what about my half-siblings? My very sketchy paperwork suggests that I have at least three. What of them? All a mystery. Maybe I’ll write the story myself and turn it into a best seller and a blockbuster movie starring Camryn Manheim as me. Why not?
The other thing I generally reflect upon is the past year and the ups and downs it brought. Let’s see…
1. I sold my house successfully and moved out.
2. I taught at my new school for a year and loved it.
3. My relationships with my sweetheart and my son are positive and loving.
4. I wrote a manuscript.
5. I lost a few pounds and tried out lots of different types of exercise.
6. I connected with several friends.
7. I was offered a great summer work opportunity that turned out very well.
8. I participated in a year long collaboration project that also turned out well and will continue next year.
9. I found and bought a new house.
10. I’m happy.
1. I’m still fat.
2. I still have to take medication.
3. I still have bad habits.
4. I still procrastinate.
5. I still haven’t met most of the 47 for 47 goals.
Oh well. I’m over it. Really, I am. I like those goals. I think they’re worthy goals. I think I’ll keep them. When I reach them I will celebrate, but I won’t beat myself up about them. I’m being kind to myself, because if I can’t even be nice to me, why should anyone else be nice to me? I know I have stuff to work on, but I’m ok with that. I’m not perfect, and I never will be, but I have goals to work toward, and right now that’s enough.
In the meantime, won’t you have a slice of virtual chocolate birthday cake with me? It’s as delicious as you allow yourself to imagine, and not a single calorie will pass your lips!