BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


11 Comments

All or Nothing Has Got to Go

I don’t know where we get the “all or nothing” attitude. I suppose it stems from perfectionism. If we can’t do it all, why bother doing anything? But that thinking is flawed, and it keeps us stuck.the-Dreamer

I’ve been thinking about this as a negative, but let me turn it to the positive for a moment. I’m a “big picture” kind of person. A while back I had a principal who provided the whole staff with Strengthsfinder 2.0 books, and we all took the test to find our strengths. I wasn’t terribly surprised to find that my strongest came out as “ideation.”

According to the Strengthsfinder folks, “People strong in the Ideation theme are fascinated by ideas. They are able to find connections between seemingly disparate phenomena.” In other words, I see things as part of a whole, and can envision how they all connect together. This is very helpful when I’m planning lessons and units in school, when I’m renovating parts of my home, or when I’m designing a quilt.

The flip side of this, for me anyway, is that I sometimes get lost in the details. I know what I want the whole thing to look like and how I want it to function, but all the little bits and pieces of making it happen sometimes trip me up. That’s where I get stuck.

Instead of writing a whole novel, I need to start with an outline. Instead of cleaning the whole house, I need to wash the dishes. Instead of losing 100 pounds, I need to go for a walk. Breaking down these big goals into smaller, more manageable ones, isn’t hard, it just doesn’t come easily or naturally to me. I want to do it all, and I want to do it now. I know that’s not realistic for large goals, so I tend to do nothing instead. How crazy is that? dreamer_by_tgphotographer

I have to stop myself and make myself hear how ridiculous I’m being. I would never expect a student to get an idea for a research paper then turn in that finished paper the same morning. I wouldn’t expect my son to take up a new sport and be and expert at it in the same week. I wouldn’t expect my dog to master a new behavior the first time she tries it. So why do I expect so much of myself?

I CAN lose a hundred pounds. It will take a long time and I will get tripped up along the way, but I have to expect that and forgive myself and keep moving forward. I CAN be a published author, but not if I don’t hone my craft and submit my writing to publishers. I CAN keep my home neat and tidy, but not if I don’t spend 5 minutes here and 10 minutes there to keep up with it.

Many imperfect steps in the correct direction will lead me far further down the path I wish to travel than just a few perfect steps. I have to keep this in mind and just keep moving. Living in a state of inertia, while easy, holds no rewards. With risk comes reward, and with work comes success. Wish me success and I try to learn this lesson over and over again.


10 Comments

Seven Days, Seven Pounds

I almost don’t want to write this, because I’m pretty sure it will jinx it, but my first week at Weight Watchers was a resounding success. One week in and I’m seven pounds down. Can I get a woot woot?

I know that wine and cheesecake really aren’t part of the program, so I’m not expecting week two to look quite as rosy. I also know that the first week typically has the greatest weight loss. Something about “water weight” whatever that is. I don’t even think it’s a real thing. I think my body is just in shock.

It’s in shock that multiple fruits and vegetables have crossed my lips over the past week. For normal people that isn’t odd, but for me, the queen of all things bad for one’s health, it’s kind of incredible. Over the past week I’ve eaten carrots, beans, onions, broccoli, spinach, lettuce, cucumbers, peppers, corn, potatoes, avocado, blueberries, apples, bananas, raisins, cranberries, and blackberries.fruit_vs_junkfood

I’m impressed with myself. My fantasy list looks more like this: frappucino, pizza, double cheeseburger, wine, cupcakes, pop tarts, sour cream and onion ruffles, chocolate, Indian food, chili, and chicken wings.

I have to get that out of my system, both literally and figuratively. I don’t need those things, I just like them. I need to keep working on reprogramming my mind. The less garbage I eat the less I want it, and the more healthy food I eat, the more I enjoy it. For some reason I keep forgetting this fact. Whoever said old habits die hard hit the nail on the head.

I’m thrilled with my seven pound loss, but I’m more excited about moving in the direction of making choices that will ultimately help me live a fuller, healthier life. Seven pounds is nothing. Good health and feeling good is everything.


7 Comments

Ode to Swollen Feet

I have indulged in something so sodium laden you had not choice but to react

I have stressed you beyond your limit

I didn’t realize it at first

Havaianas-Slim-Flip-Flops-Black-300x300But slowly, surely, you expanded bit by bit

Strange, you don’t normally look like puffy skin pillows with pink painted nubs at the ends

But there you are

Two gigantically swollen feet stuck to the ends of my legs, squeezed into flip flops because no other shoes will accommodate you

I have a secret fear that your skin is stretched so taut it will split under the slightest pressure

I take full responsibility for your pitiful condition

I’m sorry