BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


by Leave a comment

And Now for Some Babymetal

Okay, I confess, this is something completely different for me. If you’ve never heard Babymetal before (and until recently I hadn’t) you might want to turn down your speakers before you click play. The term “metal” in their name isn’t a joke, they’re metal, but not like any metal music you’ve heard before.

Here’s where they differ: they’re fronted by three adorable, high energy Japanese teen girls. These girls sing, and move, at an astonishing pace. And did I mention that they’re adorable? Pigtails, tu-tu’s, hair ribbons… the works.

There’s something compelling about Babymetal. I think it’s the contrast between the girls’ perceived innocence and the raw and almost frightening nature of the metal music. Certainly the band’s costumes add to that dangerous feeling. The intriguing part is that the girls are clearly “in” on whatever ominous deeds the rest of the band may be conjuring up. They are clearly not victims, in spite of their apparent vulnerability.

I find the whole experience of watching and listening to them engaging, and frankly, I tend to nod my head along to the music. The more I see and listen to them, the more I enjoy what they have to offer. I’d love your impressions of this creative group.


by Leave a comment

And One More Milestone Has Been Reached!

Hooray for High School Graduation!

It’s official, my son is a high school graduate. I knew it would happen, after all, he’s a smart boy with a good head on his shoulders. He would have had to really try hard NOT to graduate. Still, it’s a milestone, and one that we celebrated.

I’m so proud of that kid, I could burst.

I promise, life will return to something of a normal pace soon, and then I’ll tell you all the goings on in my life. For now, I’ll leave you with thoughts of leftover graduation cake (with copious amounts of blue icing flowers) and boxes of unsent graduation announcements, but that’s a tale for another day.


by 17 Comments

An Open Letter to My Birth Mother on Mother’s Day

Dear Birth Mother,

I realize I may be too late with this message. I’m nearly 50 years old, and you, of course, are older. I realize your life may have already come to an end, but I hope not. I hope you are alive and well and surrounded by loved ones. I hope life has been good to you and for you. I hope you have made a contribution to the world and you are satisfied with your place in it. I especially hope you feel at peace with the decision you made to give me up.flat,800x800,075,t.u1

I don’t know much about the events surrounding my birth and adoption. They are closely guarded secrets, although I don’t know exactly why. Even if I am the result of the most scandalous events, they are beyond my control, so why do I need to be shielded from them? I’m just the end result, not the cause of any bad behavior or pain.

Birth mother, perhaps you could shed some light on my origins. Am I the result of an affair? A rape? Incest? Or am I the product of a bleary one-night-stand or an abusive relationship? Maybe you struggled with mental illness or lived in poverty. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change who I am. I just wonder. I just want to know.

Maybe none of those scenarios apply. Maybe you were in love with my birth father but the situation was impossible, for whatever reason. Or maybe you just didn’t want to be a parent at that point in your life. I can accept that too. I can accept anything, because the truth is better than not knowing.

I wonder about you, birth mother. I wonder what you look like and what makes you laugh. I wonder if you have an unhealthy relationship with food like I do. I wonder if you have other children-my brothers or sisters. I wonder if you like to create or if you have an inquisitive mind. I wonder if you’re Irish or German in origin and what type of music you enjoy. I wonder what your voice sounds like, and what your smile looks like.

I wonder if you would like me.

I wonder if you think about me on Mother’s Day and my birthday. I think about you on those days, and on many other days.

Birth mother, do you know who I am? Did you ever see me as I was growing up? Did you know my parents before they became my parents? Did you live in the same town and shop at the same stores? Did you see my wedding announcement in the newspaper? Have you checked out my Facebook page or my Twitter feed or even read this blog?

Does anyone in your world know about me? Or have I been kept secret all these years?

Nearly 50 years of secrets. That’s a long time.

I just want to thank you for being my first mother, and for allowing me to have the life I’ve had. I’d love to hear from you. In the meantime, know I’m thinking of you and I wish you happiness and peace.

Happy Mother’s Day.

With love, your daughter.