Not bad for a fat girl


Oh Those Boots

The temperature has finally dipped below 80º (please don’t throw things at me), so it’s time to take out my favorite black boots. I’ve been waiting to wear these for several months, but I just can’t quite do it when it’s hot as Hades outside. Cooler temps call for different clothes, and those clothes call for boots.

I actually have two pairs of black boots, tall and short. They’re both low-heeled and surprisingly comfortable. The short ones are my favorites. They have three buckles on the outside and make me feel like a badass. I call them my motorcycle boots. I have never actually been on a motorcycle, but that’s beside the point. They also remind me of Star Trek inspired fashion. I don’t know why, but I’m pretty sure Lt. Uhura would dig these boots. Captain Kirk might too, I don’t know.

The tall boots are the same kind that everyone else has, the sort of equestrian inspired type, but mine are awesome because they actually fit my fat calves. They’re from Lane Bryant, as are the short ones, so they’re made for a bigger woman. Thank goodness. They’re super cute with leggings (well, so are the short ones) and even skirts.

I do actually have one other pair of boots, but I never wear them. Why? Because they’re hiking boots and when would I hike? I mean, sure, I live in possibly the most inviting place in the world to hike, and the rugged terrain makes the boots really handy should I actually want to hit a trail, but, no, I don’t use them. I should though, I can see that.

I used to wear boots all the time, with purpose. The pair I brought with me to the Valley of the Sun were a well worn pair of Timberlands. They were warm and sturdy and had seen their share of cold weather. Once I moved away from the land of ice and snow I never wore them again.

I also had a pair of L.L. Bean boots, the kind with the brown rubber bottoms and leather on top. They were okay from the point of view that I was a very preppy girl at the time and they were very preppy boots (I’m pretty sure they were even featured in the Preppy Handbook), but they just weren’t warm enough. Rubber, people, think about it.

As a little kid I had crappy boots. This was long before Moon Boots were invented. I remember that we called these awful boots “shoe-boots” because you wore them instead of a shoe, rather than over one. They were some sort of nasty brown plastic-y material with a fuzzy lining and a zipper that wouldn’t always work right. Before that, it was rubber boots worn right over the shoes. You would have to stick your feet in bread bags first, though, so they would slide in and out of the boots. Mine were red.

Naturally, as I got older I resisted the crappy boots and hadn’t yet discovered the “cool” L.L. Bean boots, so I eschewed boots all together. I would wear sneakers and even clogs in the snow. What an idiot. I remember the snow getting into the clogs over and over and forming ice patties under my heels as I walked to school. Like I said, a complete idiot.

I did actually have boots in junior high school, but I didn’t want to wear them in the snow because I didn’t want to ruin the leather. I had a pair of sweet Thom McAn stacked heel round toed boots, that I bought (well, that my Mom bought) simply because my best friend had them. They were ugly. Later on I upgraded to a pair of equally brown, also stacked heel cowgirl boots that were only marginally less ugly. What was I thinking?

That was before my foray into New Wave. Yeah, I didn’t really foray very far, but I did have a pair of tan “elf” boots. Nobody called them that. Just me. I’m a dork. In my defense, though, I don’t think I ever said it out loud.

Later on, I bought myself a really nice pair of Nine West cowgirl boots, low heel, butter soft leather, and a leather strap around the ankle with a silver circle holding it together. No zipper either, real boots. I loved those boots and wore them for years. *Sigh*

My other favorite pair, and really the last pair that mattered until now, were my “witch” boots. Again, my term. I may have said this one out loud. I was in college by this point, and I was a foreign exchange student in England. It was the late eighties, and my wardrobe consisted of genie pants, long pencil skirts, and oversized sweaters. Of course I needed these plain black lace up booties (again, no zipper, I was a purist). Those boots took me all over England, across to Belgium, Switzerland, and Italy, and then over to Portugal. I was undercover in those boots, I didn’t look like an American, and since I was traveling alone, that’s the way I wanted it.  I kind of wish I had a pair just like them today.

I hope you enjoy my favorite Karaoke song, “These Boots Are Made for Walkin'” by Nancy Sinatra. Fabulous boots, a fabulous song, and check out those backup dancers, wow!




Loving Leggings Part Two

One of the most read BulgingButtons posts of all time is the one entitled “Loving Leggings,” and why not? Lots of women love them, and guess what? A bunch of us are fat! So yes, I love leggings, and I know that a lot of you do too, or at least you want to. I give you permission to go for it!

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, though, I offer these tips:

1. Make sure your leggings fit properly. Too tight and they may try to roll down, too loose and you’ll look wrinkly and weird. Either way you won’t look right and you’ll be uncomfortable.

2. Don’t wear leggings if you have giant legs. I’m fat, but I carry the majority of my weight around my belly. My legs, while not tiny, are shapely and not particularly jiggly.

3. Wear a long top. Yes, cover your entire butt. Even if you have a cute butt. Leave it to your jeans to show it off, not your leggings. They are meant to let your legs pop out from under your top, not expose every curve you have. Girly bits are not meant to be paraded around in public. If your top isn’t up to the challenge, go put on some real pants. Nobody wants to see that much of you, even if you aren’t fat.

4. As an alternative to wearing a long top, wear a short skirt. This will still cover up the butt and girly bits, and make the leggings look cute.

This chilly weather is for the birds, but at least we can look cute and stay comfortable in our leggings.

P.S. And on the topic of printed leggings? YES! But I would probably stay away from the shiny ones. Just saying.


Love Those Boots

Love the style

Love the style

I’m super excited to post about something totally frivolous and silly. Boots. In my former life as a person who lived in the Great Lakes region, there was nothing silly about boots. Boots were a necessity, and, like most people there I had good ones.

Over the years, I had L.L. Bean boots and Timberland boots and various other boots to keep my tootsies dry and toasty warm. That is not an easy task when you’re plunging your feet into snowbanks and slogging across slushy parking lots. Those boots had to WORK.

Now, however, I have no such issues. I don’t need boots. I live in the desert Southwest. Oh, sure, hiking boots (you know, for those challenging hikes I’m always taking), but real boots? Nope. But what about fashion?

Fashion? Boots? Fat woman? I’ve heard that it’s possible, but I wasn’t convinced. That is, until last year when I happened across a really cute pair of ankle boots at Lane Bryant. They were hip. They were fun. They were comfortable. They were reasonably priced. They’re currently in my closet.

I really like those boots. I wear them and enjoy them. I even feel pretty stylish in them. Who would have thought?

Then today, something really odd happened. I went shopping. For clothes. Bras, to be exact, if you must know. Why is that odd? Because I seriously dislike clothes shopping, thank you very much. I was alone, though, and had some time between appointments, and found myself near a Lane Bryant store, so I stopped in.

As I felt myself being pulled to the legging display, Alma, the sales associate, welcomed me and informed me that the entire store was on sale for 40% off. Really? 40%? That’s pretty good, I thought, as I grabbed  a pair of leggings to try on. I continued to wander the store, and spied a great looking pair of boots. Real boots, not ankle boots.

They would look great with the leggings, I thought. They would be perfect with a skirt, I thought. They would be useful on my upcoming winter vacation, I thought. They’re 40% off, I thought. They’re currently in my closet, getting to know the ankle boots.

I love these boots. I love that they’re stylish, that they didn’t cost a fortune, and that they’re comfortable. The thing I love most, though, is that they’re made for women like me. They have an elasticized panel in the back so they can be easily worn by women who have a little (or a lot of) extra calf to cover. They are the first boots I have worn successfully in years.

The last time I went looking for a pair of real boots I ended up buying a pair that was too big and slouching them down since they wouldn’t go over my calves. I was desperate since I was heading to snow country, and time and budget limitations forced me to settle for those awful boots. I donated them as soon as I returned from that trip. Not this time. This time I have a beautiful, stylish pair that I can enjoy. Thank you Lane Bryant, you made my day.