exercise | BulgingButtons

October 4, 2013
by BulgingButtons 7 Comments

Please Save Your Good Advice

Low carb, no carb, eat all the carbs you want, it really depends on who you ask, doesn’t it? I’ve eaten for my blood type, counted my points, and gone walking with Jenny’s cassette tapes in my pseudo-walkman. I learned how they eat in South Beach, and I’ve consumed gallons of cabbage soup, which I happen to like very much. Still, I’m fat. I’m fat because my head and my heart just aren’t buying it. Whatever the current craze is, I’m not likely to be on board, at least not all the way.

I know I need to eat better, but for me the idea of fat substitutes or gluten free anything sends chills down my spine. The thought of tracking down stevia and recreating recipes completely repels me. Even fruits and vegetables are a little difficult for me to make peace with. I’m not a complete non-believer though. Here are the things I do know I need to do:

1. eat less crap

2. eat more good stuff

3. exercise more

That’s about it. Simple. But the fact is that for whatever reason, no matter how simple it may be, it’s not easy. I have so many bad habits that breaking them seems an impossible task. Not only that, but new bad habits threaten at every turn. An addiction to gas station brand bagged cinnamon bear candy comes to mind. Yes, really. Where has this delight been all my life? And why do I like it so much? And why, once I open the bag, do I feel the need to eat every last one of those deliciously soft and chewy-spicy red bears? I know there are people who actually close the bag up and save some for later, but that’s not me.

In my defense, though, I have played around with exercise more in the past several months than in any of my previous attempts at body (and mind) reshaping. Yes, it’s still really difficult for me, and yes, I totally suck at it and don’t want to do it, but I do. Now don’t go telling me which exercise I’m going to love, because I will probably shut down and only hear the Charlie Brown teacher voice. Feel free to tell me what you love, though, in a non-threatening way, of course. I’m glad you’re a runner and did several miles along the canal. I envy you that. Crossfit is your thing? Fabulous. You’re a monster and I bow to you, and no, there’s no sarcasm in that statement, in case you weren’t sure. I enjoy hearing how others truly enjoy working their bodies, and I hope some of that positive spirit will rub off on me.

So even though I enjoy hearing about your bike race and your new personal best time, I won’t be joining you for hot yoga or spin class anytime soon. Do they even still do spin class? I’m still such a novice at moving my body that my workouts haven’t yet evolved past my front door. That’s ok. I’ll get there. Just please don’t push me, I’ll do it when I’m good and ready.

October 3, 2013
by BulgingButtons 2 Comments

Daily Passion Prompt 28: Off to the Fat Farm!

Today’s Prompt:

If you could drop everything and go somewhere, do something, and get something right now, what would those three things be?

Congratulations! You have won an all inclusive trip of a lifetime guaranteed to improve your health and well being. We have arranged for you to take a leave from work and from your home life and what’s more, there will be no negative repercussions as a result of your temporary absence. In fact, your family, students, and colleagues are all extremely excited about the opportunity you’ve been given, and are 100% supportive. Lucky you!

You will be whisked away to our state of the art facility, near the Pacific Ocean, where our team of doctors, trainers, nutritionists, and life coaches will work with you to finally shed those extra pounds in a safe, supportive, and fun way. We’ll explore the reasons you overeat and teach you new ways of thinking. We’ll help you find the snacks and meals that satisfy you without causing harm to your body. We’ll help you tap into your strengths, and work on overcoming issues that are holding you back from success. We’ll teach you the correct ways to work your body, and help you find physical activities that you find fun and can commit to.

All of this will be medically supervised, so no need to worry about training injuries or any other health related issues. The medications you are currently taking will be monitored, and, as your become healthier, dosages will be adjusted accordingly.

Naturally your spiritual needs will be met as well, in our Zen like complex, just steps from the beach. You will have time to relax and renew your spirit, explore your surroundings either alone or with like minded new friends, and connect with nature. You will be encouraged to write about your experiences, and will participate in a top notch writing group as part of your ongoing personal growth experience.

Pack your bag, it’s time to put your regular life on hold and explore all that the new you has to offer!

September 17, 2013
by BulgingButtons 6 Comments

Daily Prompt: The Cat Says Meow

Write a story about yourself from the perspective of an object, thing, animal, or another person.

There she goes again, walking right past the door as if she doesn’t even know I’m in here. Oh, she knows, she just doesn’t want to think about me. Sure, sometimes she brings in the four legged one, clips her to the leash, and lets her go through her paces, but deep down she knows that she’s the one I want.

I didn’t always live this life, relegated to a side bedroom, spending hours watching a teenager lounge around playing video games. Do you know how hard that is? Having the company but sitting idle? If only he would get off that couch and turn me on. He could do it, it wouldn’t have to be her. But deep down, she’s the one I really want.

Every now and then, almost as a tease, she does come see me. She brings her music of choice, and her refreshment. She sets up the fan so that it’s blowing just right, and she makes a note of the time. Then, with deliberation and determination, she climbs aboard. Oh, how I love this time. That rush as she begins, slowly at first, then with increased speed and intensity, is impossible to adequately describe. We begin to move together, to get into a groove. The music helps us as we find our rhythm. This is what I was made for. This is what I long for. But, as always, it ends too soon, and again I’m left waiting, alone.