BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


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The One Armed Wonder, or What’s My Excuse?

(One of my earliest blog posts. I was so inspired by Ryan! Originally published June 27, 2013.)

 

tumblr_mozfa2rZOp1rri1fao1_400Did you happen to catch Extreme Weight Loss on ABC last night? It featured a young man from Appleton, WI who not only started losing weight at 410 lbs, but did so with one arm. This young man, Ryan, gave it all he had and lost over two hundred pounds over the course of a year. Ok, he had help. Lots of help. But so what? Could I do it, even with help? Could you?

Here’s the thing, I have help. Maybe you do too. We all (well, you and I anyway) have the internet, so we have TONS of resources, right? And if you’re anything like me, you already know plenty about health, fitness, and nutrition. I’ve often said I could write the book… but would I read it?

Maybe you’re stubborn, like me. Or a slow learner. Or a procrastinator. Or in denial. Maybe you are so incredibly stunningly gorgeous that the very thought of altering your appearance in any way, including by losing even an ounce, is unacceptable to you. Or maybe, just maybe, you’re ready to try. Again.

That’s what this is all about for me. Allowing myself the space to try again and again and again. That’s what it’s going to take for me. I’m fat. Really really fat. I could stand to lose at least 100 lbs. Seriously. You’re welcome to come along, or stand on the sidelines and watch. Laugh when you want to, sob if you feel like it, but do something. This business of doing nothing is crap.


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My Real Fear of Flying

(Originally published June 3, 2015)

I’m going on vacation in a few weeks, and I’m very excited about it. I’ll see friends and family, and I’ll go to the beach and a couple of parties. I’ll celebrate my birthday and the Fourth of July and generally have a great time. I know all of this. But I’m dreading going.FEA040

Why?

The flight.

The last time I was on a plane was back in January, on my way home from London. It was a glorious trip, but the flying was not fun. I was squished, and I’m sure I squished my sweet, ever-patient son, who was stuck next to me. He will once again be stuck next to me, and we will both, once again, be squished, but this time it’s not just the discomfort that has me worried. It’s the seatbelt.

I’m afraid, that for the first time ever, I won’t be able to buckle it.

I was hardly skinny back in January, and I’m even less so now. What if it doesn’t fit? What if I have to request an extender? Will I die of embarrassment? Will my son?

I have a couple of weeks. Maybe there’s time to make a dent. It’s worth a try.


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Why Being Fat Sucks

(Originally published July 1, 2013)

Here are a few random and not so random thoughts of why being fat is a sucky thing. A lot of them are totally obvious, but there might be a few on here that you’ve never heard anyone say or maybe you haven’t even thought about them. In no particular order, I give you lots of reasons why being fat sucks.

1. Huffing and puffing with no intent to blow anyone’s house down.

2. The look you get at the doctor’s office when you head for the scale, even if, as in my case, all the staff are amazing and kind. Even if you don’t get the look from them, you imagine it in your head.

3. Getting in and out of your boyfriend’s Mustang is a chore.

4. Overheating and then feeling like a sweaty pig.

5. Having trouble keeping all your nooks and crannies clean and fresh.

6. Actually worrying about whether wall mounted commodes are fastened securely enough.

7. Never being able to use the tray table on the airplane because it forms a downward angle as it rests against your belly.

8. Speaking of airplane, living in fear of the seatbelt extender. I haven’t had to use one yet, but the last flight I took gave me a good scare.

9. Sitting very carefully or choosing to stand if furniture doesn’t seem to be sturdy enough.

10. People stare at you and are mean sometimes. They are.

11. Stuff is too small for you. All kinds of stuff that you might not expect, like boots that don’t fit over your calves or watches that have straps that are too short.

12. Trimming your toenails is like an Olympic event. Even tying shoes can be a real challenge.

13. People who care about you give you all sorts of well meaning advice and even give you newspaper clippings just to remind you about how dangerous and awful it is to be fat.

14. You take medications for things that you wouldn’t need to deal with if you weren’t hauling around all the extra weight.

15. Buying clothes. ‘Nuff said.

16. Not being able to ride all the rides at the carnival or amusement park.

17. Not being able to go horseback riding (but really, did you ever see Bonanza? Hoss was bigger than I am!).

18. Not being able to reach the top of the trail when hiking.

19. Feeling overwhelmed and “less than” when in fact I’m “more than.”

20. Sometimes it’s hard to remember to be kind and good to myself.

Feel free to add your own, after all the more we can keep these in mind, the more likely we’ll be to banish them forever!

Swings

Swings (Photo credit: brettchisum)