Food | BulgingButtons

May 18, 2014
by BulgingButtons 9 Comments

Check Me Out – But Not Too Closely

Blog stats are a funny thing. They can give a blogger a sense of what people are interested in reading, and they can practically make a blogger (ok, me) giddy when they spike. I want to be read! I also get a kick out of checking out the map. I enjoy it when people from far-flung places visit, even if I suspect the majority of them aren’t actually reading the content.

That being said, I still have to write content that’s worth reading. My dear readers, I know I’ve been missing that mark more times than hitting it lately. What can I say, other than, I’m sorry? I promise to try harder.

Still, you continue to hang with me, and some of you are even getting out your tool belts and rolling up your sleeves to dig around BulgingButtons to unearth some oldies but goodies. I think it’s often the catchy titles that attract readers to start with. Some of the posts with the most hits have odd titles, like “Goodbye Zebra Mules,” and “The Devil, Karma, and Frito Pie.” Hopefully, though, you enjoy more than just the title.

Hopefully you enjoy reading about my daily ups and downs, and the perils of being a fat girl in a skinny (or desperately trying to be skinny) world. Today’s fat girl problem: the shelf. You know, that place along the boob line where dropped food always seems to hit before careening off into the unknown (or just settling there).

As I write, I am wearing yet another shirt with a stain along the shelf. Why? Because salad dressing stains. Yes, I got it on myself while I was at lunch with my friend. The food never goes straight down when it falls off the fork (and why exactly does it fall off the fork in the first place? I don’t know). It invariably hits the shelf and leaves a tell-tale mark, which, 90% of the time leaves a stain.

This is why fat women wear prints. The stains are far less noticeable on a print than they are on a field of solid lavender (like the shirt I have most recently stained). This is also why this fat girl hates to spend much on shirts or dresses. About 1 in 5 never make it past the first wearing. 20% people! This is a distressingly high statistic. It’s alarming, really.

What can be done? I don’t know. A better fork? Less messy food? IV fluids only? It seems like there are some options out there. This problem needs a solution, and it needs it fast, because I’m running out of clothes, and I really don’t want to go shopping.

May 14, 2014
by BulgingButtons 10 Comments

Seven Days, Seven Pounds

I almost don’t want to write this, because I’m pretty sure it will jinx it, but my first week at Weight Watchers was a resounding success. One week in and I’m seven pounds down. Can I get a woot woot?

I know that wine and cheesecake really aren’t part of the program, so I’m not expecting week two to look quite as rosy. I also know that the first week typically has the greatest weight loss. Something about “water weight” whatever that is. I don’t even think it’s a real thing. I think my body is just in shock.

It’s in shock that multiple fruits and vegetables have crossed my lips over the past week. For normal people that isn’t odd, but for me, the queen of all things bad for one’s health, it’s kind of incredible. Over the past week I’ve eaten carrots, beans, onions, broccoli, spinach, lettuce, cucumbers, peppers, corn, potatoes, avocado, blueberries, apples, bananas, raisins, cranberries, and blackberries.

I’m impressed with myself. My fantasy list looks more like this: frappucino, pizza, double cheeseburger, wine, cupcakes, pop tarts, sour cream and onion ruffles, chocolate, Indian food, chili, and chicken wings.

I have to get that out of my system, both literally and figuratively. I don’t need those things, I just like them. I need to keep working on reprogramming my mind. The less garbage I eat the less I want it, and the more healthy food I eat, the more I enjoy it. For some reason I keep forgetting this fact. Whoever said old habits die hard hit the nail on the head.

I’m thrilled with my seven pound loss, but I’m more excited about moving in the direction of making choices that will ultimately help me live a fuller, healthier life. Seven pounds is nothing. Good health and feeling good is everything.

May 9, 2014
by BulgingButtons 11 Comments

Oh Sriracha

Where did this stuff come from? All of a sudden it was just there. Then it was everywhere.

I like spicy, but I can’t handle too spicy. I’m a baby that way. Sriracha works for me. It gives my food a kick but it doesn’t make me want to cry.

That kick is important. Since I’ve gone back on Weight Watchers, I’ve been doing pretty well. Ok, unless you count my lunch today which consisted of nothing but desserts and a diet coke. Damn Teacher Appreciation Week. But I didn’t eat a real lunch so I could indulge in the yumminess. That works, right? It’s math.

Back to the kick. Since I’m getting reacquainted with healthy (in my mind boring) food, amping up the flavor is important. Sweet chili sauce, fat free Italian dressing, garlic powder, honey mustard, and Sriracha all add a lot of flavor for not a lot of calories (or any). Yay!

I love food, and want to enjoy it. Bland food isn’t for me. I want FLAVOR! If I can’t get it from butter and chocolate and cheese, then why not from condiments?