NaBloPoMo | BulgingButtons

November 24, 2013
by BulgingButtons 18 Comments

Loving Leggings

Who says fat girls can’t wear cute clothes? We can, it’s just a matter of finding them, which can be quite a challenge. I’ve had some luck with Dress Barn for Women and Old Navy online (no plus sizes in the stores as far as I’m aware, still). Last month I was out of town and needed an outfit for a college reunion event. I headed over to Dress Barn and was pleasantly surprised to find a few pieces I liked that fit well. On a whim I grabbed a pair of black leggings, expecting to feel something like a sausage being squeezed into its casing. Surprisingly, I did not. I bought the leggings, along with a few other items, with the idea that I can wear them around the house during the cooler winter months.

Fast forward to now. The cooler weather has begun and I’m in the leggings. Yes, they’re great for lounging around the house with a giant t-shirt, but they have so much more potential than that. I’ve discovered that they look great with a long sweater and my cool ankle boots with the buckles the are usually hidden under jeans. Sometimes I even pull on a short black skirt over my leggings. That look takes me back to my college years, but I don’t think it looks too young for me now, as long as I don’t put a giant bow on my head and layer 23 black rubber bracelets up each arm. The leggings also look really good with a long coral peasant top and a pair of ballet flats. Finally, the cute v-neck swing style t-shirt and a pair of sneakers makes a sporty casual outfit. Woo hoo! I’m getting way more wear out of these than I anticipated.

The keys for me (and I would think for most fat girls) are as follows:

1. Make sure your leggings fit properly. Too tight and they may try to roll down, too loose and you’ll look wrinkly and weird. Either way you won’t look right and you’ll be uncomfortable.

2. Don’t wear leggings if you have giant legs. I’m fat, but I carry the majority of my weight around my belly. My legs, while not tiny, are shapely and not particularly jiggly.

3. Wear a long top. Yes, cover your entire butt. Even if you have a cute butt. Leave it to your jeans to show it off, not your leggings. They are meant to let your legs pop out from under your top, not expose every curve you have. Girly bits are not meant to be paraded around in public. If your top isn’t up to the challenge, go put on some real pants. Nobody wants to see that much of you, even if you aren’t fat.

4. As an alternative to wearing a long top, wear a short skirt. This will still cover up the butt and girly bits, and make the leggings look cute.

November 23, 2013
by BulgingButtons 6 Comments

Reading My Writing

This morning I woke up a little bit anxious. I have a really busy day planned, and for that I’m glad. The day’s events will start with breakfast with a dear friend, whom I don’t see often enough. We will catch up on each other’s stories, and she will tell me about her recent trip, which I enjoyed vicariously through her online photos. I can’t wait to spend time with her.

The day will end with a small dinner party at the new home of one of my dear colleagues. The warmth and friendship and food and drink will be excellent, and I know it will be a memorable evening. I’m looking forward to seeing how they have transformed this house with their unique touches, and I’m so happy to be spending time away from the pressures of work with these wonderful people.

In between all that good happy stuff (and food temptation, oy vey) is my thing. My reading. Yikes. You see, I have been participating in a writing workshop for the past year or so, and each fall and spring the group does a reading. The workshop is in conjunction with a museum, and the fall reading is rather small and done in the museum. The spring reading includes past workshop participants and is held next door at the performing arts center. Gulp. Last year I took a pass on both.

The thing is, underneath my fun loving exterior I’m actually an introvert. The current personality type gimmick going around Facebook, based on the Meyers Briggs Personality Types, suggests that I’m a meerkat at heart. I’m not sure how accurate that is, but I’m not a big fan of crowds, public speaking, or fear. It takes me some time to warm up to new people, and I do best with a small intimate group (note the events for which I am excited today, above). Still, I’ve been writing a lot, and I mean really a lot, between a novel in a month and a post a day, and keeping up with class, well, that’s a lot. I’ve also been sharing much of it with all of you. So why not put my big girl panties on (literally), take a deep breath, and step up to the microphone? I can do this. I’m a writer, and I write to be read. Why not face my anxiety and read my work to an audience? The worst that can happen is silence, and I know I can handle that.

Isn’t is odd that I can take on an auditorium of 500 kids with no problem, but a room with maybe 39 adults gives me the heebie jeebies? I guess because kids are more forgiving of mistakes (or don’t even notice them). Oh well, a little challenge here and there leads to personal growth, and I’m all for that. Now I’m going to print out my piece, put it in my purse with my glasses, and go have a relaxing breakfast with my friend. Today is going to be a wonderful day.

November 21, 2013
by BulgingButtons 5 Comments

Ham and the Art of Parenting

Two days ago in the grocery store, teenage son says, “Oh Mommy, can we get a ham?” Yes, he calls me Mommy. Deal with it. “We have ham in the fridge,” I reply, quite sensibly. “No, not ham, A ham. For the pot luck at school on Friday.”

Oh. A ham. Great. He goes to a school where a lot of the kids are on free and reduced lunch. They will bring items to the potluck, but they won’t bring a ham. I know these kids. They are great kids. I want to feed them, and I have the means to provide a ham. “Fine,” I tell him, “but you have to deal with it.”

I don’t have the first clue about what to do with a ham. I grew up in a semi-kosher household and we never had a ham. I have never purchased a ham. I do buy deli ham, though, and bacon has been in my house on more than one occasion, but a ham? Never.

Now it’s Thursday night, and he reminds me of the ham. “When are we going to cook the ham?” he asks. I’m planning on walking out the door in five minutes to go to a class. My finace, who advised him on the finer points of ham cooking, is out cold feeling ill. Um, we?

So the quandry is, do I go to class (it’s the last meeting, and certainly not for a grade or anything, just for fun) and worry all evening about the ham and the possibility of him burning down the house, or at least drying out the ham, or do I stay home and google ham and it’s preparation? Oh this parenting thing, it just never gets old. Next year I hope he signs up for paper plates.