BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl

Tag Archives: November


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Cleaning Out The Drafts

Talk about crazy, here I sit going through my various stuff, seeing what I ‘ve written and trying to figure out if there are any trends. I also took a little time to sort through my spam folder, and figured I would wander over to my draft folder too, just to see what was collecting cobwebs over there.

Imagine my surprise when I found this post, completely done, with illustration inserted and everything. Why on earth didn’t I publish it? I wrote it on the 21st of November, in the thick of NaNoWriMo and NaBloPoMo, so all I can think of is that my poor tired brain must have been completely fried. I wonder if I thought I hit the publish button but didn’t? Weird. Anyway, since it’s done and I’m doing some end of the year clean up, I present a nearly month old blog post, originally entitled NaNo No No.

tuesSo here we are three weeks into NaNoWriMo and I have over 33,000 words written. I survived my NaNoWriMo Freak-O and have learned the important art of correctly backing up files. I have also been a good little NaBloPoMo participant, posting at least one blog post per day since November 1.

Let me tell you, that’s a lot of words. Oh, I know, for some of you it’s a drop in the bucket, but for this girl, it’s a lot. Today I composed two blogs posts and wrote a piece for my writing class. When it came time to work on my novel, I just couldn’t quite do it. I hit a wall. I needed a break.

So here’s the NoNo: I did not work on my novel at all today. Not one word. So what? Give yourself a break, I think. But the deadline won’t give me a break. I really want to get my 50,000 words written before midnight on November 30. Whining about it here won’t get it done. But it’s laaaaaaate. And I’m tiiiiiiiired. Oh jeez. Time to give it up for a few hours and come back to it later. I will get it done. I’m the little engine that could. Look out, the weekend is coming! And then, no more no no’s.


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Establishing New Habits

Welcome to December. The most wonderful  fattening time of the year. I have a confession to make. I have regained some of the weight I lost back when the blog was new. Maybe all of it. I’m afraid to get on the scale. I know, though. My clothes are tighter again and I don’t feel as energized as I did.

Oh sure, there are lots of reasons. The first and most compelling reason is the change in weather. I was in my pool nearly every day exercising and I LOVED it. Weird. But then it got cooler out and the water became too cold so there went my favorite workout. Boo hoo, poor me.

HT New PackageThere there was my commitment to spending most of my free time in November writing. And write I did! Many many words poured from my brain through my fingertips. A post a day (sometimes more than one) and a rough draft of a novel came out of my head. Amazing. But writers need fuel (I find that Hot Tamales candy makes me particularly creative), and writing is a sedentary activity. My musings on that topic are here. Yep, I know, excuses, excuses.

So there it is. The weight is back and now it’s holiday time and frankly, I’m not feeling all too pleased with  how I’ve been taking care of myself. Or rather how I haven’t been. Oh sure, November was a kick ass month and I’m thrilled with some of the results, but now December calls for some changes.

Besides being holiday time, December is the time of year when I remember a friend who died far too young. She was healthy and vibrant and wonderful and capable. She was a wife and mother and daughter and sister and creative tour de force. That bitch cancer got her and had its way with her. She begged her friends to take care of themselves as best they could. I’m not doing that. I’m sorry.

I’m not saying I want to get healthier out of fear of cancer, per se, but out of respect for it, and heart disease, and diabetes, and all the other nasty complications of obesity. Yes, I’m obese. I know I am, and I don’t love it. (Read some of the reasons why here) I don’t beat myself up over it, because that’s counterproductive, but I do acknowledge it. Intellectually I know I have to get going, but emotionally I’m feeling a little stuck.

I think what stops me in my tracks is the knowledge that I’ve done this a million times before. I get fed up, I shake things up, I make some changes, and I improve my health and fitness levels to a greater or lesser degree. The problem is that I never take it far enough. I lose momentum. I need to develop new habits. Fortunately, November has shown me that I’m perfectly capable of doing just that.

Writing has become a habit for me. Instead of writing once or twice a week (if that) I’m writing once or twice a day, and for longer periods of time. I’m exploring different ways of expressing myself, and I’m not afraid to tackle topics that might have intimidated me previously. I need to take that determination and drive into the battle for my health. This is a fight I need to win. I must create new habits. I better warm up the treadmill and dust off my awesome pink boxing gloves. I have proven to myself that I can take on and complete a challenge. My new challenge is taking care of myself. Anyone care to join me? One step at a time, one change at a time, one day at a time.


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My Poor Aching Hamster Paws

Hamster Running on WheelI feel like that proverbial hamster on a wheel, the faster I go, the faster I have to keep going so I don’t get flung off into oblivion. I’m afraid I may have bitten off a bit more than I can chew, here at the midway point of November. Yes, I have blogged every day for NaBloPoMo and yes, I have added to my word count every day for NaNoWriMo, and yes, I have showed up on time for work each and every day of this month (and all the months before, thank goodness), but how am I really doing at each of these things? Fair to middling, I’d say. But I won’t give up. I can do this!

Lucky me, I have a great support team at work and at home. These people pick up the slack without as much as a grumble (to my face, anyway). They know I will step up my game soon, and they will hold me to it, but in the meanwhile they’re cutting me a little slack. I love these people. Instead of making me feel like an incompetent jerk they grease the skids of my life. How fortunate am I?

So now I will take a deep breath, clear off another pile of paper from my table, and dig back into my work. Thanks, guys. You know who you are, and you know I am the luckiest person on earth because of you.