Not bad for a fat girl


Establishing New Habits

Welcome to December. The most wonderful  fattening time of the year. I have a confession to make. I have regained some of the weight I lost back when the blog was new. Maybe all of it. I’m afraid to get on the scale. I know, though. My clothes are tighter again and I don’t feel as energized as I did.

Oh sure, there are lots of reasons. The first and most compelling reason is the change in weather. I was in my pool nearly every day exercising and I LOVED it. Weird. But then it got cooler out and the water became too cold so there went my favorite workout. Boo hoo, poor me.

HT New PackageThere there was my commitment to spending most of my free time in November writing. And write I did! Many many words poured from my brain through my fingertips. A post a day (sometimes more than one) and a rough draft of a novel came out of my head. Amazing. But writers need fuel (I find that Hot Tamales candy makes me particularly creative), and writing is a sedentary activity. My musings on that topic are here. Yep, I know, excuses, excuses.

So there it is. The weight is back and now it’s holiday time and frankly, I’m not feeling all too pleased with  how I’ve been taking care of myself. Or rather how I haven’t been. Oh sure, November was a kick ass month and I’m thrilled with some of the results, but now December calls for some changes.

Besides being holiday time, December is the time of year when I remember a friend who died far too young. She was healthy and vibrant and wonderful and capable. She was a wife and mother and daughter and sister and creative tour de force. That bitch cancer got her and had its way with her. She begged her friends to take care of themselves as best they could. I’m not doing that. I’m sorry.

I’m not saying I want to get healthier out of fear of cancer, per se, but out of respect for it, and heart disease, and diabetes, and all the other nasty complications of obesity. Yes, I’m obese. I know I am, and I don’t love it. (Read some of the reasons why here) I don’t beat myself up over it, because that’s counterproductive, but I do acknowledge it. Intellectually I know I have to get going, but emotionally I’m feeling a little stuck.

I think what stops me in my tracks is the knowledge that I’ve done this a million times before. I get fed up, I shake things up, I make some changes, and I improve my health and fitness levels to a greater or lesser degree. The problem is that I never take it far enough. I lose momentum. I need to develop new habits. Fortunately, November has shown me that I’m perfectly capable of doing just that.

Writing has become a habit for me. Instead of writing once or twice a week (if that) I’m writing once or twice a day, and for longer periods of time. I’m exploring different ways of expressing myself, and I’m not afraid to tackle topics that might have intimidated me previously. I need to take that determination and drive into the battle for my health. This is a fight I need to win. I must create new habits. I better warm up the treadmill and dust off my awesome pink boxing gloves. I have proven to myself that I can take on and complete a challenge. My new challenge is taking care of myself. Anyone care to join me? One step at a time, one change at a time, one day at a time.


Daily Passion Prompt 17: My Perfect Post Lottery Life


 DAY #17:  What if you won the lottery tomorrow and you were set for life (financially).

Fast-forward three months later.  What would you be doing?  Where would you be living?  Who would you be surrounded by?  Why?

Oh Yes! I won! Impossible to imagine, since I don’t really play, but we can pretend. Two scenarios play out in my mind. Scenario one involves a very large home in a swanky neighborhood (not far from where I currently live), a house staff that includes a cook, a personal trainer (if not Chris Powell, then a clone of him), a housekeeper, and a groundskeeper (you know, for the pool, lawn, and gardens).  My sweetheart and I would have done a bit of traveling, and would be settling in to our new life. I would have time every day to work out, read, write, quilt, and scrapbook. Of course the house would be huge and have dedicated areas for all of those activities, so I wouldn’t need to pull things out and put them away each time.

6a00d83451d02f69e200e54f33ed548834-800wiThe studio would house my quilting and scrapbooking (and other craft) supplies. It would be sunny and cheerful, and in the evening it would be well lit. Of course it would be outfitted with ample storage for my ever growing collection of fabrics, papers, and notions. I would have tall counters for cutting and comfortable spaces to spread out and design and create. I would invest in a longarm quilting machine, and hire an expert tutor to help me get the hang of it. If I don’t get the hang of it, I would just have her come over and do my quilts for me.

My study would be the reading and writing center of the home. It would be a cozy room with walls of books, comfortable seating with good light, and a lovely desk with my computer. Here I would spend hours every day composing narratives, poems, and works of fiction. I would play with various styles of writing, and take online writing workshops. I would read here too, sampling works from writers new and old.

CHRIS POWELLAnother room I would visit daily would be the workout room. I imagine a treadmill, weights, boxing equipment, plenty of floor space, and other pieces of equipment that I can’t even name. My trainer would be compassionate and motivating, and I would learn to love working out. Naturally there would be a pool too, for my water workouts and general recreation and relaxation.

Finally there would be a tremendous kitchen, complete with fabulous healthy chef/nutritionist/teacher. This wonderperson would teach me the ways of creating delicious meals that will satisfy me and help me on my path to wellness. He/she would also do the meal planning, sous chef work, and cleaning up. Wouldn’t that be nice?

It all sounds fabulous, but totally unrealistic. First of all, I really don’t want a bunch of strangers in my house. Ok, Chris Powell can come over once a week for my training session, but other than that, I value my privacy. If I really did win the lottery, things would look a lot like they already do. First, I would finish out the school year with my students. There would be no reason to abandon them. Next, I might move to a slightly larger, more comfortable home, but it would be far from a mansion. There are three of us in our family. That would be silly.

Things I would do:

1. Put aside college money for my son.

2. Hire him a driving instructor. He’s almost old enough for his permit (just a few weeks away).

3. Hire a trainer. Even if it’s not Chris.

4. Keep writing.

5. Plan a memorable vacation.

6. Think about life after school lets out in May. Would I go back? I might not. I might concentrate on writing.

The lottery is unlikely, but having dreams doesn’t depend on lottery winnings.