Not bad for a fat girl

Establishing New Habits


Welcome to December. The most wonderful  fattening time of the year. I have a confession to make. I have regained some of the weight I lost back when the blog was new. Maybe all of it. I’m afraid to get on the scale. I know, though. My clothes are tighter again and I don’t feel as energized as I did.

Oh sure, there are lots of reasons. The first and most compelling reason is the change in weather. I was in my pool nearly every day exercising and I LOVED it. Weird. But then it got cooler out and the water became too cold so there went my favorite workout. Boo hoo, poor me.

HT New PackageThere there was my commitment to spending most of my free time in November writing. And write I did! Many many words poured from my brain through my fingertips. A post a day (sometimes more than one) and a rough draft of a novel came out of my head. Amazing. But writers need fuel (I find that Hot Tamales candy makes me particularly creative), and writing is a sedentary activity. My musings on that topic are here. Yep, I know, excuses, excuses.

So there it is. The weight is back and now it’s holiday time and frankly, I’m not feeling all too pleased with  how I’ve been taking care of myself. Or rather how I haven’t been. Oh sure, November was a kick ass month and I’m thrilled with some of the results, but now December calls for some changes.

Besides being holiday time, December is the time of year when I remember a friend who died far too young. She was healthy and vibrant and wonderful and capable. She was a wife and mother and daughter and sister and creative tour de force. That bitch cancer got her and had its way with her. She begged her friends to take care of themselves as best they could. I’m not doing that. I’m sorry.

I’m not saying I want to get healthier out of fear of cancer, per se, but out of respect for it, and heart disease, and diabetes, and all the other nasty complications of obesity. Yes, I’m obese. I know I am, and I don’t love it. (Read some of the reasons why here) I don’t beat myself up over it, because that’s counterproductive, but I do acknowledge it. Intellectually I know I have to get going, but emotionally I’m feeling a little stuck.

I think what stops me in my tracks is the knowledge that I’ve done this a million times before. I get fed up, I shake things up, I make some changes, and I improve my health and fitness levels to a greater or lesser degree. The problem is that I never take it far enough. I lose momentum. I need to develop new habits. Fortunately, November has shown me that I’m perfectly capable of doing just that.

Writing has become a habit for me. Instead of writing once or twice a week (if that) I’m writing once or twice a day, and for longer periods of time. I’m exploring different ways of expressing myself, and I’m not afraid to tackle topics that might have intimidated me previously. I need to take that determination and drive into the battle for my health. This is a fight I need to win. I must create new habits. I better warm up the treadmill and dust off my awesome pink boxing gloves. I have proven to myself that I can take on and complete a challenge. My new challenge is taking care of myself. Anyone care to join me? One step at a time, one change at a time, one day at a time.

Author: BulgingButtons

I'm a middle aged woman doing the things that middle aged women do and trying not to beat myself up. I'm living the life I choose with the man I love, the grown up son who impresses me all the time, and the most adorable pup ever rescued from the euthanasia list. We live in the heat of the Southwest, where I regularly sweat through my Lane Bryant bras.

24 thoughts on “Establishing New Habits

  1. I’ll join you.

    How long do you write for when you sit down? Could you go for a 20 minute walk before or after each session to make it part of the habit?

    • Oh good! A partner in crime, uh, I mean positive lifestyle changes.

      Combing writing and walking is an excellent idea. I often write early in the morning or late at night (that full time teaching gig I have tends to take up a lot of the middle hours) so it would probably be treadmill since it’s dark out.

      So happy you’re joining me. 🙂

  2. I’m a work in progress, I occasionally take a few steps backwards…..and when I suddenly realize that I’m wearing the same pair of pants over and over because they’re the only ones I’m comfortable in I get myself back on track. Living a healthy lifestyle shouldn’t be this much work, lol! 🙂

    • I hear ya! One of my dear friends once said, “I work really hard to be this fat,” meaning even with a good diet and exercise she maintains her weight.

      The good news is, every day we get to start over and make better choices than the day before. 🙂

  3. I swear you are writing about me (except the “writing part.” I’m so tired of getting a bit ahead, then falling 7 steps back so I dont do anything. I need to do this, for me and to make Shauna proud. We always “secretly” dieted together. I sure do miss that girl. Good luck with your progress. I’ll work on mine as well

  4. Pingback: after midnight, we’re going to let it all hang out | bodhisattvaintraining

  5. We are watching the sort of carbs we eat with the glycemic index diet. Nothing with an index higher than 55, and both hubby and I have lost weight, slowly, but surely. We still need more exercise.

    • I’ve had good success with limiting carbs in the past. I wasn’t scientific about it, just limited rice, pasta, potatoes, and bread. I was working with a nutritionist at the time. He also had me strive for 26 g of fiber a day. That’s a LOT of fiber! Good luck to you and hubby. 🙂

  6. Sadly it’s true, it’s the most fattening time of the year. I try to fight against the chcocolate-devil and I hope I will win. In case I will lose, I bought an oversized sweater :o) Good luck , I cross my fingers for you and for me too :o)

  7. I loved your post and I myself struggle with munching while I write. I shifted my go-to snack to water and it has really helped me. I also walk a lot in the morning. The treadmill sounds like a great idea for you! I also find that when I am walking I get inspired with writing ideas and brainstorming takes my mind off the killer hills on my walk. I don’t diet but I do drink at least 3L of water every day and walk 20+ miles a week. The weight just falls off and over the past 5 years I have lost well over 100 pounds. 🙂 Here’s to striving for excellent habits. 🙂

  8. Your post made me think of a thought you might like, “Good habits, once established, are just as hard to break as bad habits” Thanks for the inspiration to go exercise. Hugs!

  9. They say it takes 66 days (or 66 times) to form a habit – so best way for you to start is…to start! 🙂 Sorry to make it sound so easy but you’ve proven, with your commitment to writing, that once you make something a priority in your life, rather than find excuses NOT to do that thing, instead you will move mountains to do it.

    I’ll be here to cheer you on every single step of the way. And I’m super loud, so you’ll no doubt here me. 🙂

  10. This is a little crazy and backwards but: one of the healthiest eaters I know is battling cancer for the second time. It is a shock when someone who “lives right” (good food, exercise) gets stricken anyway.

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