Weight loss | BulgingButtons

December 19, 2015
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How I’ve Missed You

My poor dear little blog, you’ve been so neglected.

I could tell you that it’s because it’s holiday time, and there are so many other things I feel I have to do, but I don’t think that watching holiday movies is a good excuse.

I could tell you that it’s because it’s the end of the semester at school and I have to wrap up the grading and projects and all the other things that go along with this time of year, but really that’s kind of an excuse too.

I think I may be neglecting you because I’m just tired.

I’m tired from work.

I’m tired from the stress of my kid applying to colleges (but hey, he’s been accepted to TWO universities, so it’s not bad news).

I’m tired from preparing for a trip. Ok, not really. I tend to be a last minute kind of a gal, in case you hadn’t noticed.

I think what I’m really tired from is the diminished level of care I’ve been giving myself. I’ve allowed my old habits to start creeping back in, a bit at a time. Some Christmas cookies here, a glass of spiked eggnog there, a bit of fudge, a glass of wine… it all adds up, and it’s added up. Not to worry, though, because I had an appointment with my nutritionist on the calendar. I knew she would help me get back on track. Except that it didn’t quite work out that way.

You see, this lovely woman who has been so instrumental in helping me lose weight and become healthier has had a surprise thrown her way. She will be leaving the medical group where she’s been working, and she’s not sure of her next move.

I’m sad for her, but she has a wonderful attitude. She’s framing it as an opportunity for growth. I admire that. But it still sucks. It sucks for her to have to look for work, especially at this time of year, and it sucks for me, because frankly I really like working with her. She comes from a place of wisdom and no judgment, and I find that so helpful.

Our paths may cross again. I hope so. In the meantime I wish her well. Now to get off my tush and start taking care of business once again, with or without her help.

November 15, 2015
by BulgingButtons Leave a comment

The Right Tools for the Job

I just came from a cooking home-party, where several women got together and made a delicious meal with a dessert. The whole point of the event was to sell the various cooking tools and utensils, and for me, at least, it was a success. I know that I can get by without using the exact tool, but in many cases having the right tool for the job makes the process not only smoother, but more successful.

This lesson can be applied across the board, not just in cooking. Of course there are extreme examples, such as the carpenter who tried to hammer nails with his screwdriver, but in real-life the examples are usually more subtle.

I think about my students who often don’t have the right tools to approach a particular problem. It’s my job as their teacher to equip them, but only after their parents have done the lion’s share of the job. They need to have a certain level of curiosity as well as a healthy dose of perseverance in order to be successful. They have to be open to making mistakes and be able to collaborate with others. A dose of self-control and a willingness to listen to others are necessary tools for learning. I can help develop those tools, but some children are clearly better equipped than others.

Then I think about my personal goal of improving my health through better eating and more movement. What tools do I need there? First, I need the knowledge of how to feed myself properly. I have plenty of resources in that department, so I think I’m set there. Then I need support and motivation. I find these waxing and waning, and I need to develop ways to keep them both high. I also need tools to get me moving. Again, motivation is a big one. Maybe a nice new pair of sneakers will help? Perhaps a Fitbit? I’ve been toying with the idea of both, but realistically I know that it has to come from within.

And what about writing? Do I have the tools there? Well, yes and no. I have the tools to be a decent blogger. I have ideas, I have this blog, and I know how to put out posts that people occasionally respond to. I can string words together into sentences, and sentences together into thoughts. I have some knowledge, a few ideas, a laptop, and a platform, so yes, I have the tools.

But what about other writing challenges? Do I have what it takes for those? I’m not sure. Again, I think the biggest obstacle is motivation. I’ve got a fear of failure, or maybe a fear of success, I haven’t decided which yet. I have great support and terrific resources to develop as a writer, now I just need more time and better focus. Wouldn’t it be nice if those were available through a home-party? I’d be the first one to sign up.

November 3, 2015
by BulgingButtons 7 Comments

Food Obsessed? Ask Yourself These Questions

If you’ve been with me for a while, you may recall that I’ve been working with a nutritionist since August. I got off to a great start, and lost ten pounds fairly quickly. Then the next ten came off, and I was delighted. After that, however, I hit a snag. I went to my hometown and celebrated a happy occasion with my family. I stayed with my mother and spent the entire weekend going from one event to another, with delicious food at every turn.

Now I didn’t pig out at those events. I ate sensibly (for the most part) and didn’t imbibe (too) much, so I was still seatbelt-extender free on the trip home. That came as a relief. The trip, however, seemed to be something of a turning point for me, and not in a good way.

From that point on, (it’s been two weeks) I just haven’t felt the same motivation to eat well and take good care of myself. I haven’t thrown in the towel completely, but my motivation has definitely taken a hit. Halloween was the tipping point. I don’t even know how many fun-sized candies I ate, along with some chips and dip and a delicious helping of Frito pie for dessert. Yeah. It was that bad.

Well, I visited the nutritionist, and asked to skip the scale. She agreed, and we chatted. I told her I felt stuck. I told her my motivation was waning. I told her I was not being successful. Her question to me? WHY?

Why what? Why was all of this happening? Why was I feeling this way? Or did I need to think about bigger questions? Yeah, I thought so. So I started asking myself the WHY questions.

WHY would I want to sabotage the work that I’ve done to get healthier?

WHY do I feel like it’s more difficult to eat a nutritious meal than one that is full of fat?

WHY is it that behaviors that were easy to do in August now feel difficult to do in November?

WHY don’t I accept the responsibility I have to take good care of myself?

WHY would I want to continue living in an unfit body rather than one that functions better?

WHY does my heart rebel agains what my head knows is the right thing to do? Or is it my mouth that rebels?

WHY am I so obsessed with food and eating in the first place?

My nutritionist feels strongly that if I take the time to dig through these questions and uncover some of their answers, I will have more success in my quest to improve my health though improving my body. I imagine she’s right.

Until I do that difficult and scary work, though, I’m recommitting to making better choices, planning ahead, and avoiding some of the food traps that I know trip me up. The leftover Halloween candy is leaving the house tomorrow, and a menu plan is being developed for the rest of the week. It’s not perfect, but it’s a start.

Oh, and the scale that I asked not to go on at the beginning of the appointment? Well, by the end of the session I was ready to face the music. I took a breath, stepped on, and was astonished. I hadn’t gained an ounce, in fact I had actually lost a little bit. The relief was overwhelming. I hadn’t sabotaged myself completely after all. The work I’d been doing hadn’t been completely undone. I was so happy I left the appointment laughing.

I dodged a bullet this time, but I know I won’t be so lucky in the future. It’s time to step up my game.