Actually “reply” probably makes more sense, but I didn’t want you, dear reader, to think I was talking about you. I wasn’t. I was actually talking to the “helpful” bloggers who want to rid the world of blog posts they deem unworthy. I’ve seen lots of snarky and sarcastic comments about blogs that I don’t think are helpful at all. Maybe I’m missing the point. Perhaps they have been offered as satire. But I sort of don’t think so.
Telling new parents not to write about their babies is advice that’s likely to fall on deaf ears. Their new child is a wonder, and they want everyone to know about the amazing transformation they are participating in every day.
Not everyone who writes a blog is looking to be the next _________ (fill in your favorite writer here). Many people blog to keep in touch with far away family and friends, others do it just to get all those words that are swirling around inside of their heads out for some fresh air. We don’t all wish to be critiqued, even if we do hope to be read.
I understand that the internet is a public forum and whatever you put out there is fair game, but to offer criticism in the guise of advice seems unfair to me. It’s like your mama told you, if you don’t have something nice to say (or at least respectful and productive), then keep your big yap shut. New parents will tell you about every little thing their genius progeny does, from his rolling tummy to back prowess to her revolting sensitivity to dairy products.
New parents aren’t the only ones who do this. I’m a quilter. I read a lot of quilt blogs. If I were a more involved quilter I’m sure I would write many more posts about quilting. Would my experience of running out of thread in the middle of a big project be earth shattering? If it is, it’s only in my eyes. Still, I may wish to blog about the situation. Does that make me a bad or boring blogger? Not automatically. You would still have to read my post to find out. If you’re interested, that is.
What it boils down to is this: I think readers can judge for themselves what content appeals to them. Telling bloggers that there are hard and fast rules of blogging seems counterproductive to me. Blogging allows for instant publishing for the people, by the people. It’s very democratic, and as such you, dear reader, have the option of reading along, participating in the discussion, or passing any particular content by. Give the people choice, I say, and keep writing those cute baby stories. People really do read them.
No doubt many of you have already seen this little gem by now and have formed your own opinions about it. My first reaction? You have got to be kidding me. My next reaction involved some choice words that I prefer to keep out of print for now.
I think the story goes something like this: a woman in the midwest wants to do her civic duty by proclaiming her neighbors’ children obese and giving them notes to that effect instead of candy on Halloween night. The notes not only explain what a wonderful service she is doing them, but go on to suggest that the parents ration the candy the children happen to accumulate from the disappointing neighbors who might stoop to give them any.
Jeez, talk about fat shaming. This is fat shaming and parent shaming and just plain old nastiness all rolled into one self-serving holier-than-thou pile of crap. Let’s face it, this note is just plain mean.
Here’s the deal, I’m usually a pretty open minded individual. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, and I generally try to convince myself that people have others’ best interests at heart. In this case I just don’t see it.
If you think giving candy to some kids and mean spirited notes to others is somehow going to improve their health, you’re out of your mind. You’re worried about childhood obesity? Don’t give out candy. Better yet, don’t give out anything. Turn off your light and stay away from the windows. Your neighbors will probably thank you. Especially those with the chubby children who you will target with your ill conceived notes.
Notes which, by the way, you apparently spent considerable time on, including a cute graphic. Which makes me wonder if this is even real. Who shared this with the world? Halloween hasn’t happened yet. Is someone pulling the wool over our eyes? Are we being pranked?
I hope so , because you don’t know every child’s story. You don’t know every family’s story. Neither do I. If they’re letting their kids trick-or-treat that’s their business. If you don’t want to participate, don’t. You don’t get to pick and choose which kids get a treat and which kids don’t. If you don’t have something nice to say, say nothing. Sit this one out and admit that maybe you’re not the expert on everything. You want to help kids? Help your community? Fantastic. This is not the way to do it.
Roughly three months ago I had my 47th birthday and decided to give myself some challenges for my 47th year. Some of them are coming along quite nicely, and others have yet to begin. Here’s a quick overview of how things are going for two reasons. First of all, there’s accountability. If I announce what I’m doing (or not doing) I’m more likely to progress toward my goals. Secondly, I want to give myself a push in the right direction. I have to revisit the goals to get them fresh in my mind again. Hopefully this won’t sting too much. I’ve included several links to posts that address particular goals, so feel free to poke around and read some.
1. Get at least one piece of writing published, in print, not via internet-not yet, but I am published in an online magazine, so it’s a start
2. Commit to eating home cooked meals at least four times a week (eMeals is helping with this one, check them out!)– sometimes yes, often no
3. Leave the house in plenty of time to not rush everymorning– this one has been going really great
4. Read 47 books –I’m only at nine (not including books I read to my students), but I’m off this week, so that number should go up! Check the facebook page for my reads.
5. Start a writing group –yes, but not the way I originally thought. I’m doing a writing group with kids. I also belong to a group, so starting a new one right now doesn’t seem to make sense.
6. Reconnect with old friends –I’m attending my college reunion next week, and there’s already talk a a high school reunion for next year. That conversation has gotten me back in touch with some friends from long ago.
7. Take my meds everyday until I no longer need them– Check! I finally figured out a method that works for me and never miss them now.
8. Use the treadmill at least once a week (hey, you have to start somewhere!)– honestly, no. More than before, but still not once a week.
9. Try Zumba (even though I have two leftfeet)– not yet
10. Finish the charity quilt on my sewing table-mortified to admit, but also not yet
11. Finish one UFO (unfinished object) per month (this would mostly bequilts)– uh, no
12. Eat more fruit– yes! I more or less like fruit now and have some almost every day.
13. Eat more vegetables –doing ok on this one, could do much better
14. Drink lesssoda-I was but now I’m not. Time to refocus on this one.
15. Teach my son to drive(eeeeeeek!)-not yet
16. Take the dog to the dog park at least once a week– not yet ( it’s been too flipping HOT)
17. Finish the office to make it a nice place to work (clear out clutter and organize)– and again, not yet (I’m seeing a pattern, gulp)
18. Donate unused items (just dropped off a bunch of items today but there’s more to get rid of) – this is ongoing but we could use another round
19. Leave work at a reasonable hour each day– most of the time I do
20. Limit pinterest addiction (it’s embarrassing, really)– I rarely go on Pinterest unless I’m looking for something specific. I don’t surf it though.
21. Keep on blogging! At least once a week share thoughts, ideas, challenges, triumphs, etc through this forum– YES!
22. Learn how to be a better blogger (and a more widely read blogger)– learning slowly but surely
23. Learn to box, really, I want pink boxing gloves and something to hit –I’ve started
24. Try to improve sleep habits –working on this one
25. Save up for a really cool family vacation-working on this one
26. Try to listen to my teenager better instead of just talking at him– this one is so so so hard
27. Talk to mom more– a couple of times a week
28. Discover more of my state (there are tons of hidden treasures I’ve never seen-not yet
29. Take more photos on my actual camera instead of my phone– working on this one
30. Learn some new aspects of the job I’ve been doing for a long time– working on this one too
31. Figure out some additional ways to get income into the household– I have two additional income opportunities I didn’t have three months ago, and the possibility of a third one
32. Take better care of my car (it has over 100,000 miles and it has to last!) – I did make it wait a while for its last oil change…
35. Surprise my sweetheart with a weekend away – not yet
36. Girls only day trip- probably in November
37. Climb that stupid mountain- haven’t even tried yet
38. Read magazines, then recycle (so hard to part with some of them, and no, I’m NOT a hoarder)- zero progress on this one (maybe I do have a few hoarder tendencies)
39. Push my limits in all ways –I could do better
40. Don’t forget to be kind, to myself and others – most of the time, yes
41. Look good in THOSE jeans again – not yet
42. Give myself a reason to replace my sneakers at this time next year – I better put some more miles on them
43. Sing even if I’m not great at it – yes, but mainly when nobody but the dog is around
44. Do more with less – doing pretty well with this
45. Get things done right away when possible-I suck at this, but I have been paying bills early
46. Have fun – I do
47. Enjoy life – ditto
Well, clearly I have some work to do, but on the flip side I’ve made a lot of positive strides in the past three months. I’m not disappointed by what I’ve learned through this little exercise. I know that these are achievable goals, and given a positive attitude and determination, I’m sure the next check in will show even more progress toward completing them.
Telling new parents not to write about their babies is advice that’s likely to fall on deaf ears. Their new child is a wonder, and they want everyone to know about the amazing transformation they are participating in every day.
Would my experience of running out of thread in the middle of a big project be earth shattering? If it is, it’s only in my eyes. Still, I may wish to blog about the situation. Does that make me a bad or boring blogger? Not automatically. You would still have to read my post to find out. If you’re interested, that is.
BulgingButtons 