BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


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Building Bravery One Word at a Time

Here we are, halfway to the end of November. Actually, just past halfway. So far I’ve managed to keep up with posting each day, and it feels good.

I like having a daily writing habit, and NaBloPoMo has been the nudge I needed to get back to it. On top of that, I’ve been writing with two writing groups. One of them just wrapped up with a public reading, and I got brave and shared my work. It’s the third time I’ve done a public reading, and each time it feels slightly more natural and slightly less intimidating.Public-Speaking

November is a perfect month for stepping out of my comfort zone. It’s the month where I reflect on all of the good things in my life (Thanksgiving, anyone?). When I think about all of the supportive people I have around me, and all of the positive experiences I’ve been able to enjoy, it gives me confidence. I feel loved and capable, so why not try my hand at something challenging? Besides, what’s the worst case scenario?

In terms of the reading, the worst case scenario would be a heckler, but really, it was held at a small gallery, and the whole audience was comprised of the writers’ families and friends. I doubt any of them would have booed me away from the podium. Even if they had, at least three people in the crowd would have scolded them. It’s that kind of group.

I need to keep this attitude of “what have I got to lose?” and “what’s the worst case scenario?” Bravery can be cultivated, I’m sure of it. It’s time for me to work on building mine.


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Two Ways of Looking at Monday

Monday morning, ugh.

I’m not a fan of Mondays. I’m not a fan of transitions, in general. It took me a long time to realize this about myself, but it’s true.

I used to think that I just didn’t like going to bed, and I don’t, but I don’t like waking up either. I don’t like getting into the shower, but getting out is no fun either. Same with a swimming pool. I love being wet, that’s not the issue. It’s the getting wet that I don’t like, and the getting dry too. Transitions.

The transition from the workweek to the weekend doesn’t seem to bother me as much, though. Go figure. The opposite, however, is a bitch.grumpy_cat_cutie_mark__canon__by_lahirien-d71u11w

Here’s today’s Monday thought catalog:

  1. I have playground duty this morning. Ugh.
  2. It’s cold outside (well, relatively speaking, I know…54 isn’t really that cold), and I have playground duty.
  3. It poured last night, leaving the fields wet and muddy, and it’s cold, and I have playground duty.
  4. My math tests didn’t quite finish scoring themselves.
  5. My students are still struggling terribly with division.
  6. This week we start the dreaded fractions unit.
  7. After school I have a dental appointment.

I realize that not one of these things, by itself, is that big a deal. In fact, the whole collection of them isn’t awful. It’s all in the framing. Maybe I ought to try something like this instead:KTje8beGc

  1. I have the chance to get some fresh air before school and chat with the kids.
  2. It’s a brisk morning, so I’ll want to walk around and get some exercise while I’m outside.
  3. There will be plenty of kids on the blacktop to visit with.
  4. I have some time this afternoon to finish scoring the math tests.
  5. I’ve pinpointed the kids who need the most help with division.
  6. Fractions are necessary and kids generally enjoy learning about them, at least at first.
  7. I have good dental insurance and a terrific dental office to take care of me.

That second list is a lot more palatable. I think I’ll go with that one today. I hope your transition into the work week is a smooth one and that you’re able to see your little challenges as speed bumps rather than mountains.


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The Right Tools for the Job

linky - tool turnaboutI just came from a cooking home-party, where several women got together and made a delicious meal with a dessert. The whole point of the event was to sell the various cooking tools and utensils, and for me, at least, it was a success. I know that I can get by without using the exact tool, but in many cases having the right tool for the job makes the process not only smoother, but more successful.

This lesson can be applied across the board, not just in cooking. Of course there are extreme examples, such as the carpenter who tried to hammer nails with his screwdriver, but in real-life the examples are usually more subtle.

I think about my students who often don’t have the right tools to approach a particular problem. It’s my job as their teacher to equip them, but only after their parents have done the lion’s share of the job. They need to have a certain level of curiosity as well as a healthy dose of perseverance in order to be successful. They have to be open to making mistakes and be able to collaborate with others. A dose of self-control and a willingness to listen to others are necessary tools for learning. I can help develop those tools, but some children are clearly better equipped than others.

Then I think about my personal goal of improving my health through better eating and more movement. What tools do I need there? First, I need the knowledge of how to feed myself properly. I have plenty of resources in that department, so I think I’m set there. 5350_Nike_Free_5_0_Running_Shoes_Womens_Red_White_2Then I need support and motivation. I find these waxing and waning, and I need to develop ways to keep them both high. I also need tools to get me moving. Again, motivation is a big one. Maybe a nice new pair of sneakers will help? Perhaps a Fitbit? I’ve been toying with the idea of both, but realistically I know that it has to come from within.

And what about writing? Do I have the tools there? Well, yes and no. I have the tools to be a decent blogger. I have ideas, I have this blog, and I know how to put out posts that people occasionally respond to. I can string words together into sentences, and sentences together into thoughts. Freedom from fearI have some knowledge, a few ideas, a laptop, and a platform, so yes, I have the tools.

But what about other writing challenges? Do I have what it takes for those? I’m not sure. Again, I think the biggest obstacle is motivation. I’ve got a fear of failure, or maybe a fear of success, I haven’t decided which yet. I have great support and terrific resources to develop as a writer, now I just need more time and better focus. Wouldn’t it be nice if those were available through a home-party? I’d be the first one to sign up.