fashion | BulgingButtons

March 15, 2015
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A Shot of Pepto for Breakfast and Nothing to Wear

Today is Sunday. It’s the last day of my glorious Spring Break. I say glorious not because of all the wonderful things I did or accomplished over said break. I say glorious because it gave me a chance to rest, which I desperately needed. Apparently I still need it.

Frankly I’m a little worried about going back to school tomorrow. All the little ones will be recharged and ready to go, but I’m still drained. I feel a bit like my old cell phone battery, I need to be powered up more and more regularly and I lose my charge faster. This illness, whatever it is, has knocked me out. Still coughing (less though, thankfully) and still low energy, but now a new twist… yep, tummy troubles.

Seriously, I slept relatively well, thanks to Mr. Nyquil and his magic medicine, but this morning was just no fun. I stumbled into the bathroom expecting the same old routine, but nope, surprise! My insides rebelled. At least I was in the right place at the right time. Mmm, nothing like some delicious, pink, Pepto Bismol to get the day started.

Eventually I managed to pull myself together enough to shower. A few minutes later I found myself standing in my closet faced with the remnants and reminders of a smaller me. Granted, not a much smaller me, but still. As my eyes darted around, the seeds of panic began to take hold. I had nothing to wear.

“Calm down, it’s not a work day, you have options,” I told myself.

“Like what? Pajamas?!” I answered with maximum snark.

I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I wouldn’t talk to a friend like that, so I shouldn’t talk to myself that way. Then this gem slipped out of my brain,

“Oh shut up, you need to face facts, you’re a whale.”

Ouch.

I grabbed a cute (huge) brown beaded tank top and a pair of (giant) olive-green (stretchy) shorts and got the hell out of there.

Note to self: Maybe it’s the only the Pepto talking, but stop being so MEAN to yourself!

other note to self: Do Your LAUNDRY! There are clothes in there that fit.

last note to self: Maybe it’s time to pick up a couple of pieces for the spring wardrobe.

Maybe I do need to go back to work. At least my dresses still fit.

P.S. Well no wonder. Today is March 15, the Ides of March. My father, who was not a superstitious man, always warned about the Ides of March. I know it’s from Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, and that there’s no logical foundation to it, but I still hear my father saying, “Beware the Ides of March.” Maybe I’ll just stay in today.

November 17, 2014
by BulgingButtons 8 Comments

It’s Official – I Look Awful in Everything

Getting dressed this morning wasn’t fun. First of all there’s the issue of the weather changing. It’s chilly in the morning, and today I’ll be spending half an hour on the playground supervising the little cherubs, so I don’t want to start my day cold. Later on, though, it heats up. I don’t want to spend my afternoon melting either.

The obvious solution? Layers, of course. Except when you reach a certain size there are only so many layers you’re willing to encase yourself in. Still, I headed to my closet with the idea that I would be dressing in layers today. First I needed a base. Skirt? No, not for a playground duty morning. Pants it is. Hmmm, the dress pants are all too tight, the capris are all in the wash, and the season has passed for the brightly colored summer pants.

That leaves jeans and leggings. Jeans are usually a Friday thing, but these are nice jeans, in a dark wash with no extra stitching and a flat front. I could wear them on a Monday. On they go, along with a long coral top. I look in the mirror and am horrified. I look awful. It’s the jeans. I look like a sausage about to explode out of its denim casing. I can’t do it.

Off go the jeans, and on go the leggings. The ones I’ve been wearing off and on all weekend. Yesterday I went to the theater in them with a big white button-down shirt over the top and ballet flats. I also went to brunch in them with a big, bright orange long sleeved t-shirt and ankle boots. I love them. They’re comfortable.

As far as looks? Well, let’s put it this way, my shirt is really long. It has to be. Nobody wants to see what’s under it, or if they do, they would regret it if they actually got their wish. It’s not pretty.

I feel like I have slipped over the line into the territory where nothing looks good, but really that’s not true. I looked cute at brunch. I looked good at the theater too. Maybe instead of giving up on fashion, I should just do my laundry.

November 11, 2014
by BulgingButtons 7 Comments

Love Those Boots

Love the style

I’m super excited to post about something totally frivolous and silly. Boots. In my former life as a person who lived in the Great Lakes region, there was nothing silly about boots. Boots were a necessity, and, like most people there I had good ones.

Over the years, I had L.L. Bean boots and Timberland boots and various other boots to keep my tootsies dry and toasty warm. That is not an easy task when you’re plunging your feet into snowbanks and slogging across slushy parking lots. Those boots had to WORK.

Now, however, I have no such issues. I don’t need boots. I live in the desert Southwest. Oh, sure, hiking boots (you know, for those challenging hikes I’m always taking), but real boots? Nope. But what about fashion?

Fashion? Boots? Fat woman? I’ve heard that it’s possible, but I wasn’t convinced. That is, until last year when I happened across a really cute pair of ankle boots at Lane Bryant. They were hip. They were fun. They were comfortable. They were reasonably priced. They’re currently in my closet.

I really like those boots. I wear them and enjoy them. I even feel pretty stylish in them. Who would have thought?

Then today, something really odd happened. I went shopping. For clothes. Bras, to be exact, if you must know. Why is that odd? Because I seriously dislike clothes shopping, thank you very much. I was alone, though, and had some time between appointments, and found myself near a Lane Bryant store, so I stopped in.

As I felt myself being pulled to the legging display, Alma, the sales associate, welcomed me and informed me that the entire store was on sale for 40% off. Really? 40%? That’s pretty good, I thought, as I grabbed a pair of leggings to try on. I continued to wander the store, and spied a great looking pair of boots. Real boots, not ankle boots.

They would look great with the leggings, I thought. They would be perfect with a skirt, I thought. They would be useful on my upcoming winter vacation, I thought. They’re 40% off, I thought. They’re currently in my closet, getting to know the ankle boots.

I love these boots. I love that they’re stylish, that they didn’t cost a fortune, and that they’re comfortable. The thing I love most, though, is that they’re made for women like me. They have an elasticized panel in the back so they can be easily worn by women who have a little (or a lot of) extra calf to cover. They are the first boots I have worn successfully in years.

The last time I went looking for a pair of real boots I ended up buying a pair that was too big and slouching them down since they wouldn’t go over my calves. I was desperate since I was heading to snow country, and time and budget limitations forced me to settle for those awful boots. I donated them as soon as I returned from that trip. Not this time. This time I have a beautiful, stylish pair that I can enjoy. Thank you Lane Bryant, you made my day.