Not bad for a fat girl


Sucking the Energy Right Out of Me


No, I don’t read Asian newspapers or drink tea in a tumbler, but this is too cute.

What is it?

The Heat?

The kids?

Getting up to an alarm clock even though my body desperately wants to sleep in?

Knowing that soon I’ll be on vacation for real?

I’m not sure exactly what it is, most likely a combination of all of the above, but for some reason when I get home in the afternoon, after teaching my young writers (for just three hours) I’m totally drained. I try to do something productive, like write, or do laundry, or even just read a book, but before long I’m nodding off. UGH.

I get to bed at a reasonable hour, so why I am so tired mid-day? And why is it only when I’m home alone and have the opportunity to actually accomplish so much?

Am I running from my responsibilities? Am I hiding from something I don’t want to face? Am I afraid to be alone, so I escape into sleep? I’m pretty sure the answers to those questions are no, no, and no. I’m just freaking tired.

My first guess is that it really is the heat. Carrying around all this extra weight in extreme temperatures is hard on a body. I do my best to stay hydrated and keep cool, but I think my body is fighting back, and what better way to conserve energy than to sleep?

On Friday my summer work comes to a close, and I have a few weeks of pure relaxation. I’m heading east, away from the hellfire of my chosen Southwest home, and I couldn’t be happier. In the meantime, I’m going to keep waiting until after dark to jump in the pool, and keep myself as cool as possible. After all, I chose this, and no matter what, it still beats snow any day of the year.


Avoid Melting – Eight Ways to Keep Cool and Avoid Premature Meltdown

Friends, it’s 138 degrees outside and I’m slowing turning into a large puddle of goo.

Okay, so the above sentence is an example of hyperbole (don’t you just love that word?), which is a literary device that ten year olds are supposed to know and use correctly, but I digress.

It’s hot out there. Yes, I live in the desert Southwest, and it’s June. Yes, I knew this was coming, and Yes, I’m more or less okay with it.


Here are a few ways to melt less:

  1. Wear the right clothing. In my case that means a knit cotton sundress or a loose t-shirt and elastic-waist shorts. Nothing is tight, nothing chafes, and the fabric breathes. Yes! Sexy? Debatable. Practical? You bet!
  2. Baby powder is your friend. I know, I know…if you use it in parts unknown you might have bad things happen to your bits and pieces. Well, my suggestion is DON’T do that. Use it where your parts rub together. Yes, that means along the bra line, ladies. Trust me, it helps.
  3. Wet washcloths. This one is from my childhood. No matter how sticky and warm I feel at night, a rub down with a wet washcloth always seems to help. Not drying thoroughly helps too. Evaporation cools you off, at least a little, and you won’t feel so grubby either.
  4. Fans, fans, fans. We’ve been keeping our air conditioning set to a higher temperature to save a little money, so we’ve been especially enjoying the fans. Ceiling fans are great for circulating the air, but floor fans are good too. Especially if you’ve just used tip number 3.
  5. Water. Water in the body, water on the body, water surrounding the body. Drink it, bathe in it, swim in it, use it! Water is your friend.
  6. Shade. If you must go outside seek shade. If you must leave your car in a parking lot, seek shade. Shade is so important that if you don’t have it you might need to create your own. Shade tents, long-sleeved shirts, and even umbrellas can save you from the sun’s wrath.
  7. Relax. This is not the weather for marathon training, at least not outside. The less energy you expend, the cooler you’ll stay.
  8. Take a cue from the kids. Eat a popsicle. Jump in a swimming pool. Run through the sprinkler. Munch on some watermelon, if you like that sort of thing (I do not). Relax and watch a movie. In other words, have a great time without over-doing it.

And don’t forget about your pets. DO NOT leave them out in extreme heat, even with shade and water they can meet a terrible fate. That goes double for the car. No living thing should be left in a car when the temperatures are well above one hundred degrees. I know you’ve heard it before, but it bears repeating…LEAVE NOBODY IN THE CAR in this heat.

If you take my advice you should be able to survive the explosion of your outdoor thermometer with no problem. Good luck, and keep cool!

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Summer in Phoenix



Hot is a dog who won’t go outside,

preferring instead to sprawl across the tile floor

directly across from the air vent

Hot is the sensation that your paper parking permit

Will spontaneously combust between your fingertips

As you remove it from your windshield

Hot is a ponytail, braid, or bun

Morning, noon, and night

Hot is driving home from work

With the air conditioning on high

and pulling into the garage

before the car has cooled down

Hot is feeling apprehension every time you turn the ignition key

and feeling gratitude every time the car starts

Hot is waiting until later in the day

when the shadows appear

to go into the backyard pool

Hot is floor fans, ceiling fans, wet cloths, and water bottles

Hot is planning on cold cereal and yogurt for dinner

Hot is finding the one parking spot under the scrawny Palo Verde Tree

just for a little bit of shade

Hot is laundry. So much laundry.

Hot is choosing shoes with thicker soles

so you don’t feel as much of the heat coming up from the pavement

Hot is watching movies like Ice Age and Frozen

Even if there are no children in the house

Hot is extra chemicals for the pool

and extra water for the lawn

Hot is Phoenix in the summer

and no surprise

Hot is the temporary price we pay to live here

For that reason only, hot is okay.