BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


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Eighty-one Pounds Gone, and Eating Cinnamon Bears for Dinner

So if you read my last post (half a year ago) you know that I’ve been taking weight loss medication, and lo and behold, it’s working! All those things about being fat that average sized people don’t think about are starting to become standard for me. I’m by no means skinny, and I don’t aspire to be, but there’s significantly less of me than there used to be.

Recently we had Thanksgiving here in the U.S. of A., and I was lucky enough to score a visit from my boy (grown up man) who lives in another state. I hadn’t seen him in a while, and when he looked at me for the first time he was a little bit thrown for a loop. He actually told me that it’s going to take him some time to get used to the way I look now. I weigh less now than I have at any point during his lifetime, so I can see where he’s coming from.

Honestly, I don’t want to stay on this medication forever, partly because I don’t enjoy giving myself shots, partly because gagging when I brush my teeth is unpleasant, and partly because who knows what the long term effects of this medication are. Oh, and the cost. There’s that factor too. But for right now, and the foreseeable future, I’m sticking with it (see what I did there? stick, like needle? pretty clever, right?).

My sweetheart doesn’t love the idea of me being on this medicine for an extended period of time. He’s convinced that I’ve “learned better habits and can continue making those better decisions.” Right. Like having cinnamon bears for dinner. Yes, I’m eating considerably less, but still not always the best choices. I try, but some days I really just don’t want to. Yes, I occasionally get cravings, even with the medicine, but FAR less often or intensely than without it. I haven’t learned better habits, I’ve always known what they are. It’s not knowledge that’s the issue, it’s putting it into practice, and that’s where I have struggled all my adult life.


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Still in the Hospital

This surgery thing is no joke. Recovery is brutal. At least it is for my sweetheart. It’s amazing how many things have to be in alignment for the human body to function properly. The hospital staff is testament to all those moving parts.

There are the doctors, of course, who diagnose and perform surgery and order medications and monitor recovery, but they’re just a part of the much bigger community that makes up the team of people providing care and services at the hospital.

The nurses are the ones on the front lines. They’re with the patients the most, taking care of everything from pillow position to administering medication to providing support for hallway walks. They take vitals, assist with bathrooming, clean wounds, and keep patients spirits up. They are amazing.

Then there are the nurse’s aides, the phlebotomists, the physical therapists, the nutritionists, the patient transport specialists, the patient care coordinators, the cleaners, the volunteers, and all the other people whom I’m forgetting but who also do a great job. The hospital never closes. It never slows down. It ticks on like a clock, constantly there working for the people who need its care. I’m so grateful to all the people who make it happen.

My guy is still in the hospital. His body has taken a beating, but with this incredible team of people on his side he’s getting stronger day by day. As much as I appreciate and admire the people at the hospital, I hope that soon we can say goodbye to them for good.


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The One Armed Wonder, or What’s My Excuse?

(One of my earliest blog posts. I was so inspired by Ryan! Originally published June 27, 2013.)

 

tumblr_mozfa2rZOp1rri1fao1_400Did you happen to catch Extreme Weight Loss on ABC last night? It featured a young man from Appleton, WI who not only started losing weight at 410 lbs, but did so with one arm. This young man, Ryan, gave it all he had and lost over two hundred pounds over the course of a year. Ok, he had help. Lots of help. But so what? Could I do it, even with help? Could you?

Here’s the thing, I have help. Maybe you do too. We all (well, you and I anyway) have the internet, so we have TONS of resources, right? And if you’re anything like me, you already know plenty about health, fitness, and nutrition. I’ve often said I could write the book… but would I read it?

Maybe you’re stubborn, like me. Or a slow learner. Or a procrastinator. Or in denial. Maybe you are so incredibly stunningly gorgeous that the very thought of altering your appearance in any way, including by losing even an ounce, is unacceptable to you. Or maybe, just maybe, you’re ready to try. Again.

That’s what this is all about for me. Allowing myself the space to try again and again and again. That’s what it’s going to take for me. I’m fat. Really really fat. I could stand to lose at least 100 lbs. Seriously. You’re welcome to come along, or stand on the sidelines and watch. Laugh when you want to, sob if you feel like it, but do something. This business of doing nothing is crap.